Kathleen

In order to find out what was going on with Steph, I tried to go up and gently talk to her, but she wouldn't open the door (she might not have been there) so I tried to talk to her through the door. To avoid any misconstruing or false accusations, I recorded my speech as I spoke to her so that no one could accuse me of saying anything I did not say.

I am serious. If you want to hear both sides of the story, come to me. I have been watching this and have been apart of this the entire time. Also, I am uninvolved in the current drama, other than the fact that my girlfriend has been slandered by people she holds dear. You come to me before you cast judgement. This whole situation is disgusting. I cannot believe grown adults would act this way. We are all friends here. This is ridiculous.

You find out this side of the story before you go making vindictive posts and talking poorly. Jesus Christ.

My e-mail: severedtwilight@yahoo.com.

Let's end this.

Hey everyone! Yes, I know, I suck ass and don't update my journal nearly as often as I should. My girlfriend does all the frantic updating ^_~ I feel a lot that it is practically pointless to even bother writing anything since Rebecca pretty much is always giving everyone the lowdown, anyway.

Before I do any con reports or hangout descriptions, I should tell everyone, I am taking a medical leave of absences from school. Basically, I wore myself out so severely between cons and driving and hangouts and not taking any breaks or weekends to myself that I have literally zero motivation to do anything but sleep, since I haven't had a moment to myself since practically the summer. It's not that I don't love hanging out with everyone and picking people up who need it, or making extravagant weekend plans, but honestly, I don't get nearly enough sleep, or any time to myself where I can relaz my mind and body, and it's completely drained me of everything. This is on top of my already documented medical problems with my colon, which causes severe fatigue in and of itself. I usually like to be active, and if I *don't* anna do anything, there is usually a problem. Anyone who knows me knows I LOVE University of the Arts and I LOVE my major more than anything. but attendance is strict here, and this semester I'm taking three less classes than I usually do, which is still seven. I feel like I'm dying when I have to wake up at 9:30 and that is totally not like me. I'm irritable, unmotivated and completely sluggish, plus I've never felt less healthy. And it's bad, because I WANT to be here. All I want to do is compose, and sometimes I'm even too tired to go to the lab with Ty to work on our music, which is completely ridiculous, since it's one of my favorite things to do. I've been talking to my advisor, my major teacher and my counselor and they all agree that this would be wise. I can still take major lessons so I don't fall behind in my actual major. I won't lose my scholarship, which I would have if I got below a 3.0 GPA, and I can FINALLY take some time to sleep, maybe get a job, take some martial arts, and get my body and mind feeling healthy and wholesome again, instead of strained and exhausted.

I feel like I've been playing Mother Theresa way too often lately. I'm completely obsessed with helping people, and since I love you guys so much, I am always trying to find some ridiculous manner in which I could assist my friends in need, whether it's giving them a ride or picking them up or paying for food or coming to visit. I already get shit from my parents because of my credit card bills, with gas and food and shit, and sometimes I even opt to miss class so I can be somewhere to pick someone up, or go to a con, or something, and that s one of the reasons I have to take the rest of the semester off. Do me a favor, guys. If I offer to do something ridiculous in order to help you and it's completely out of my way, tell me so and don't let me do it!!! lol it's really harming me! I absolutely don't want anyone to feel badly if I've helped you in the past, but it's getting to the point where I haven't taken a moment to myself because I'm constantly trying to do stuff for people, and it's taking a serious toll on my school work and I'm starting to hate myself for it. I know you guys love me and appreciate me, but don't let me do ridiculous things when there are other ways to get around it. I'm still taking Rob and Steph to Tekko, and I'll be hanging around the con a little bit, but I made plans with one of my friends from Carnegie Melon and I'll be spending Friday or Saturday with him. He's a MI friend whom I haven't seen in three years. I apologize...you guys won't have access to my car for a day or two. Just enjoy the con ^^; I really wish Beck was going. I by no means am trying to guilt anyone! I just wanted everyone to know how tired I am and I'm doing badly in school because of it. Sometimes I don't know what's good for me.

Anyway, I had a lot of fun this weekend, except for Rebecca getting sick O_O I love you puppy! I've been trying to take good care of her. I hope she feels better soon! I think I'll return sometime today to give con updates and more lengthy banter XD

I love you guys, I really do. I hope no one takes offense to this. I'm just so tired...

I'll be back soon to update. I am quite relieved about taking the rest of the semester off. I think that will be endlessly good for me. Let's hope so...

http://kevan.org/johari?name=Creoa

I had SO MUCH FUNCKING FUN AT THE CON!

Con report up and coming. Or just read Beck's in the meantime.

I love EVERYONE so much!

And...I love Sanji o_O I can't believe myself.

Much love to everyone! I love you all more than you could ever know and thank you for everything! I'm glady ou are all home and safe. Will update soon!

<3

Thanks for all the birthday wishes, everyone!! Much love and buttsecks!

I've been pretty stressed out since my sleeping schedule is all whacked and I can hardly wake up for my classes. I let my advisor know and all my prof's have my doctors' note, so hopefully my absenses will be excused my and situation understood.

Speaking of alleviating stress: IF ANYONE CAN PLEASE HELP ME TO MAKE ZABUZA'S SWORD, THAT WOULD BE VERY FUCKING APPRECIATED! OR...I WILL GIVE SOMEONE 30 DOLLARS IF THEY LET ME BORROW THEIR PRE-MADE SWORD FOR THIS CON!!! PASS IT ON TO FRIENDS AND LOVED ONES! KATIE GAUNT BADLY NEEDS ZABUZA SWORD!!

I have all my Katsu costumes done (which is really only Zabuza, which is looking hot besides the fucking sword)I am really excited! I have a sewing machine now, btw...my mum let me borrow hers and gave me a refresher course. That will help a lot in the future!

FYI, a fellow comp major and myself have been collaborating lately and I think our shit is pretty awesome. It's sort of pop/trance with a hint of techno and New Age. We've been taking turns with ideas; the first song was his concept, then the second mine, and so on. I sing and write all the lyrics, and he does most of the arranging/input into Garage Band, etc, since he know rhythms and percussion better than I. I LOVE working with him, and I really like everything we've done so far. We're gonna make an album and get is mastered, so we'll see how that works out XD If anyone wants to hear our shit, I can send it via IM or show you at Katsu. I think it has some potential XD

Anyway, thanks again for the b-day wishes! It was a nice, relaxing birthday. 20, huh? Now I can make fun of stupid, stereotypical teenagers without making any refernce to myself, yay!

Much love! See you all soon! JJ....we'll have a dual-b-day celebration at Katsu! Love you all!

"Write a message to me in the voice/style of the anime/manga character you are best known for/most identify with. "Me" can either be the anime/manga character you most associate me with, either from the same series you chose for your character, "me" as Tiffany, or "me" as an anime/manga character from another series if you feel like doing a wacky crossover. Just put who you're writing as, and who you're writing to, in (( )) at the end of your post"

Make me proud!

I had my Wushu class on Thursday.

Awesome. Different and far more badass than Kenpo.

Glenn said when he went in, he didn't take a class, and Master Li just evaluated him; you know, asked him to do a few basic kicks, a tornado kick, etc. Then they sat down and discussed the plan and payment.

That never happened with me. I guess since John and Glenn know what they are doing, he assumed I did too, and threw me right into a class -_-;; lol not that I didn't want to take one! But I was gonna sit around until 8, but I was there with Glenn around 5:40 so he was like "Get changed and take a class!" I was like "OMG!" And they have these really complex fifteen minute warm-ups so I had to watch everyone and wing it hardcore.

So for the rest of the class, I went ont he side with this higher-level Asian guy and he showed me their style of tornado kicks, butterfly kicks and weird step-spinning-inside-outside kicks. Totally fun, new and now I am sore as fuck.

However. I feel like an asshole and probably shouldn't. After class I went over to Master Li (who was talking to Glenn) and he was like...in very vad English..."You discuss plan with Glenn and get back to me," and I was thinking I still had to sit down with him. So I asked "Alright, when do you want me to come in again?" And he replied "Well you have to pay before you take nother class, you understand that right?" And I blushed like a retard and was like "Oh yeah, of course!" Stuff like that embarresses me...lol. I didn't mean to imply anything, I just figured we had to sit down and talk about it like the everyone else! Do you think maybe it was just because of the language gap and he was trying to get everything across as clearly as possible? I KNOW you have to pay to take classes. It would have been nice to get some sort of deal...but I can't expect that. And didn't. And felt like a moron just for being there. But hey, it's hard to understand each other when one of you hardly speaks decent English T_T I hope he likes me though!

I think I may be able to get a job at the school. If I get my FAFSA in and become a Work Study student, I can do little things every month and I heard getting 100 bucks is easy as pie. I hope! I really wanna take Wushu!

Anyway. I don't know if we are going to be able to make it to both Tekkoshocon and AnimeBoston. I don't think we'll both have enough money for both cons. Who knows, though. I still need to worry about costumes. And getting a job and paying for Wushi T_T

I'm glad it's the weekend. I've been kind of depressed lately. I wish I could make money and my parent's weren't so stupid about it...

I am sore as hell. I guess that's what happens when you've been out of the martial arts business for a year and a half.

EDIT: Scratch sore. I actually can hardly walk. All I did was kick for an hour. Now...I am pretty flexible and I can kick well over my head...but Wushu...Wushi is NUTS. Ow, baby. Ow.

This is in case I forget, Beck forgets or anyone is curious as to days that I will be available.

Monday: 8:30am-9:50am - Orchestration
10:00am-11:20am - Jazz Ear Training II
1:00pm-2:20pm - Modernism II (hooray for being the only Libral Arts class I have to take!)

Tuesday: 3:00pm-4:20pm - Jazz Theory II (!? I cannot believe this one...lol)

Wednesday: 9:00am-10:00am - Major Lesson
10:15am-11:20am - Comp Department Wokshops, meeting, etc.
7:00pm-8:20pm - Interarts Ensemble (maybe...I did it last semester and wasn't planning on being in it again...)

Thursday: 8:30am-9:50am - Orchestration
10:00am-11:20am - Jazz Ear Training II
1:00pm-2:20pm - Modernism II
3:00pm-3:50pm - Class Jazz Piano II (four classes back-to-back...Mmmhmmm...*dies*)

Friday: 3:oopm-4:20pm - Jazz Theory II

This is not counting whether or not I try-out for one of the choirs or take World Music Ensemble again. I REALLY wanted to have my Wednesday's as free as possible, not only for extra time for study, but for trips to NJ. But if I take Wushu, I'll be going Tuesday and Thursday nights, so I can use those days for Jersey visits. Plus, I might be working weekends...let's hope so! It's about time I work to pay for something I really wanna do.

Tekkoshocon? Take Rob? Huh? Should we...? Will we have the money after squandering it at Katsu and saving up for ABoston? Are we insane...?

I haven't slept at all.

Much love.

School started on Tuesday.

Everything was going smoothly until I check my schedule on the UArts website Sunday night only to find that my schedule is not to be found.

Stupid glitch, right? Every other student was probably checking the same thing.

So I check it Monday morning. No schedule. It even says that I am not even registered for anything whatsoever.

WTF!?

Sarah comes over since I haven't seen her pretty much at all since she got home. I asked her what she thought might've happened.

"Oh? You didn't hear?" she askes me.

"...hear what?"

"Oh. Half the students' schedules got wiped."

Oh. Is that all? That's nice....

*kills people*

NICE JOB UARTS! I had registered way ahead of time, got into all the classes I had wanted, got my Wednesday's free, and this is what happens? Thanks a lot, fuckfaces, thanks A LOT!

On top of that, my cell phonefuvking miraculously stopped working. So I had a lovely stressful Tuesday morning, stomping over to school like an enraged Nazi, fighting through lines of stupid Freshmen at the Registrar who wanted to get shit copied, got my queer little "Spring 2006" sticker on the back of my ID that I 'so sorely' needed in order to do anything, and FINALLY got my schedule reinstated into the computer. One of the girls behind the counter actually had to find the hard copy that I filled out with my advisor and she herself inputted my schedule back into the system. Thank you, dear.

Then, I ditched my theory class (it's the first day and it's the easiest class I have. I am totally in SPED theory) and went to NJ to find the right Verizon store where they could fix my phone. It was in the Deptford mall, so I high-tailed it over there and they mercifully replaced it with no charge since the software was damaged (somehow). So props to Verizon. Fuck you to the UArts computer system. Props to girl who found and input my schedule.

I am not taking as many classes as I usually do this semester (OMG I've gone down from 10 to only 8! *dies*) but this is good. I'll have more time to work on my jury stuff when that comes up.

Another thing.

Something sort of happened when I was in NJ on Tuesday. I was with my friend Glenn (with whom I used to train in Okinawa Kenpo; we got out black betls together) and he and John have been taking Wushu now (Wushu is a form of Kung-fu btw). I've heard some amazing things about that crap they do in there, advanced tumbling, cooler weapons than what we did in Kenpo, and everything is much less commercialized and stupid and nobody cares about money here (unlike my last Sensei) and this guy is totally badass, right of the boat from China, and runs a pretty amazing school. The forms they do right off the bat are ten times more cool and advanced than what we were doing as black belts in Kenpo. So I went, watched, died and now...

I want to take it SO badly!!!!

I figure...if I can maybe work weekends, get at least 50 bucks a week, I can put a hundred into martial arts and a hundred into cons and costuming everything month. It's only about 90 a month. Yes, I know there are places around here around that range, and I wouldn't have to worry about Glenn picking me up at the station or calling my parents and begging them to pick me up and drop me off in the city afterwards, but you know? It's always worth it to go somewhere where you know someone. It's not too far, it's not too expensive, and I met Master Li; he is fucking amazing. I don't mind the commute too much, and I think it's important for me to actually start working and paying for something I really wanna do. I hardly got anything at the video game store, so I couldn't really put away for it, and the Korean grocery store where Beck works needs a person for the deli. They are really flexible and I love everyone there XD I think it would be worth it, and you guys know how I love martial arts and staying in shape and being healthy XD Maybe if I have more responsibility like this I'll be able to manage my time better. And if it gets too much, I'll just tell Master Li that I need to take a month or two off and come back when my school work is done.

Plus, who doens't want to learn how to do an aerial? (A no-handed cartwheel) Fucking hot, huh? People who have been there for a month are already doing shit like that, and backflips and round-offs and all sorts of awesome shit. Hoshi!!!!!!!!

Now I just have to talk to Chris at the store and see if I can work for him, along with making sure I can have those con weekends free. Let's hope for the best!

BTW. I saw Brokeback Mountain with Beck and Kate. FUCKING AMAZING!!! Two gorgeous actors, two gorgeous actresses, angst, love, secrecy, GAYNESS and best of all...SURPISE BUTTSECKS! And fucking wonderful Donnie Darko (Jake Gyllenhaal...hottest gay cowboy around with Heath Ledger in second) was quoted saying that he was fucking flattered that people thought he was bisexual and would be totally open and unafraid if he was sexually attracted to a man. HOLY FUCKING SHIT, DONNIE, TAKE ME HOME!! Or....uh...take Heath home. You're pretty 'familiar' with him, right? RIGHT? I've never seen so many fangirls and gay men in a theatre before. Everyone got hilariously silent at all the hot parts, which were, in care you were wondering, OH SO FUCKING HOT. There was also this out-of-place straight couple there and I'm sure the guy was thinking "Man, my g/f is gonna be so aroused by this movie, I am DEFINITELY getting laid tonight." Good thinking, bro.

Anyway. I should join Rebecca in bed. She took off today and I didn't have classes, so we slept until like 3 ><; Lazy assholes. So I am trying to tire myself out...maybe I'll read some smut XD

Goodnight. And get used to these long updates XD I'm ridiculous like that.

PS: Check out my icon made by my dearest Ant! I love you! And Kate and Rob, I miss you guys hardcore! Can't wait for Katsu! And wish me luck with finding work and commuting to NJ to make martial arts! ><;

Alright everyone. I am back and fine XD I hate leaving emo updates since I am usually so cheery and content, and I don't want anyone to ever question it. I guess I'm allowed to piss and moan everyone once in a while XD

Thanks for the support thusfar! You guys are so sweet. I really have some amazing friends ^_^

Anyway. Care for some not-so-graphic details? (Or accidently graphic details?) Trips to the hospital for such things are always so...interesting to say the least. I have loads of fucked up stories. Since we've lived in New Jersey (and since I've turned 18 and can no longer to go the nearby Children's Hospital where my proctologist was a fucking hot 40-year-old Asian guy with an English accent *dies*) my current proctologist is this pretty cool guy. I can only hope that in return for him being so kind and understanding, I can make his job a little easier by being a young, soft, relatively attractive patient and not at all representing the majority of his regulars: wrinkled, overweight, middle-aged or older, Depends-brandishing grandparents with 'roids and ass pimples and unwarrented amounts of...hair *eeeee....* who are usually the more likely candidates for colon problems and bowel difficulites (BTW I will apologize now for those few images...I will immediately cut off my head the instant I have completed this post...scarring you for life).

So after my somewhat unbearable prep, that for some reason was worse than usual, I slept for a solid hour T_T, awoken by my father at 5 in the morning, and lethargically got dressed, grabbed a roll of toilet paper (for emerganies) and my contrainer of Destitan (doesn't only soothe diaper rash!) and got into the car. The hospital is pretty close by, but my father had never been there before, and the directions were wrong -_-;; but we got there in time, and I dragged my starved and empty ass into the impressive facility. I probably looked albino at this point, with blood-shot eyes induced by fatigue and zero pigment on my malnurished and already pale-as-fuck skin. We waited for a short time in the waiting room for surgeries/similar procedures while the receptionist took care of a few impending patients. Basically, you sign in, she calls you up, makes copies of your drivers' license and insurance card, makes sure you have a ride/escort with you, and asks you some questions...i.e. "Do you have a living will?" "Do you give this family member permission to view your records?" etc.

Two middle-aged women were ahead of me, filling out there forms and signing things, and I overheard the receptionist asking both times what religion each woman practiced or considered herself apart of. The first woman said Catholic. And the receptionist finished the second woman's response with the same thing. Either the second woman was a returning patient and her information was already in the computer, or she was making a safe assumption. My dad and I suppressed snickers.

Then my name is called. I go up there, wearing a red martial arts shirt, holding my Naruto wallet with my license and insurance card, carrying with me my blatantly anime-loving bag. She answers a few questions for me, "Sex, female. Age, nineteen. Marital Status, single (;_;!)" ....and my heart starting pounding and I knew what she was gonna ask next.

"Religion?" Seemingly expecting the usual, I had to guess she heard 'Catholic, Christian, Jewish, etc.' for the most part. Or even 'agnostic/aetheist.'

I manage to make eye-contact despite my drowsy and hardly-cognizant state. "Druidism."

The pretty girl behind the desk looks at me, confused. Not offended (this *is* South Jersey), just...unexpecting.

"Pagan," I said. "It's pagan." She typed something unseen to me. I do hope she knew I wasn't kidding and didn't put down 'Catholic' instead. XD lol.

I asked her why such a questions was on file, and pretty much guessed why. She told me that if something happened, some people like having clergy or rabi's come in and gie them blessings, and it would be easy to summon them if they had our religious preferances on file. Makes sense. Wouldn't it be hilarious if something happened and while I was lying on my death bed awaiting my dying rites, they send in this sixteen-year-old goth girl wearing heavy eye make-up and pentagrams (you know...those girls who think that Wicca is all the rage and tell people they are witches and shit and don't know anything about the actual religion/rituals) and says "Merry Meeting. Whomever it is we are supposed to worship blesses you and promises your life to follow will be nice. Huh? My patron goddess? Am I suppose to have one? Atlantis? What....? No, no I am a witch, I swear! My eyes turn red when my mom yells at me for not taking out the trash and spending too much money at Hot Topic..."

-_-;;;;

I will admit, however...I had the urge to say 'Satanism' to break the cycle of same religions more harshly, but it was fucking 6am and I was exhausted and this lady was nice and pretty, and I didn't want to seem like some middleschool wannabe nonconformist whose trying to rebel from their moral upbringing and parent's religious endeavors. Plus...what if she actually believed me...? T_T Not that I have a problem with the actual religion...just not me, yanno?

Anyway...after that is was pretty smooth-sailing. Go into little room with nurse, answer more questions, chuckle at surpirsed looks when admitting that you don't drink or smoke (she knew I was in college), and pretty much strip down into robe, get IV (I know now that the only place it works is on my hands), and walk into the OR, plop on the bed thingie and fall the fuck asleep. I'm usually calm enough to be light-hearted, so it's as pleasant an experience as possible.

Two funny things though:

1. My urine test said that I was pregnant (LOL) and I told her right then and there that I didn't sleep with men...XD The only reason it came out positive was because I haven't had my period in a while, and she tried it again and it came out negative. (Lesbians rule).

2. Some crazy, half-conscious patient-man said that my clothes and nerdbag were his *o_O* while I was sitting back in the little room with them ready to get changed! LOL A black nurse was like "Yo sir, that don't make no sense! *laughter* These ar' hers!" ....lol

Anyway. All is well! The doc showed me some pictures of my colon when I woke up and pretty much nothing had changed. The only thing that could be seen was that the lower part of my colon (where I had previous operations) was inflamed, probably because of the scar tissue and irritated mucus glands. Everything above that was perfectly normal. He said we'd discuss whether or not we wanna fix this problem, and that other than that, there was no cancer, pollops, abnormalities and that I was healthy and free to go. All's well that ends well!

Now I am home, waiting for Beck to get here and thinking about calling Annie for some sushi. Sorry for this novella! T'is a habit, I suppose. I need to disipline these cats. Maho just tore a claw through an immensely sexy Shuffle! poster...naughty naughty naughty.

Love to all!

PS: I am never leaving Beck along here again! One, because I miss her too much, and two, she made a giant fucking mess -_-;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

If I wasn't at such a high risk for various colon diseases (besides the rare-ass one I already have), I would never fucking agree to do this. I guess it's not to bad, since this will be my 6th or 7th colonoscopy....but starving yourself for 30 hours and consuming 30-50 one-inch-long pills is hardly worth and hour of being put under and having someone stick a scope up your ass and take pictures and examine for ten minutes. Last time, I had to starve myself for three and 1/2 fucking days.I don't know why it's so bad right now. I just feel...awful. Worse than I usually do. There is no color in my cheeks. I haven't slept in over 30 hours and I began my fasting about five hours too early, and took the pills about two hours too late. I am so tired and empty. I'm sluggish and weak. And on top of that, I am sleeping at my parent's house because my procedure is at 7am and I have to be there by 6am. And Beck has to work tomorrow. What does that mean? I am spending a miserable, cold, and hungry night alone, while Beck is back at the apartment. You never realize how much your peaceful sleeping depends on consistancy. I wish I could see her.

I am never usually nervous about things like this. But I am right now. I'm feeling a different sort of sick....unlike the one I've experienced before. Maybe these are new pills...

I wish Rebecca was with me.

During the school year, I am always so stressed out, worrying about school, composing like ten songs a week, being boggled down with eight or more classes, not being able to spend time with Rebecca, etc. And then there is that one to two day period after finals where all is better. You know you did well on your finals, got all your shit in, get your grades back and you kept your scholarship...nothing could be better...

And then a week later you are sitting on your ass in front of the computer, PS2, DVD player, etc...playing games that you've beaten hundreds of times, downloading emulators that don't have sound (much to your dismay), watching the same 10 episodes of Queer as Folk over and over again because you are too lazy to go down the street and return them and rent the next ten, and you feel completely lazy, fat and useless T_T lol.

So it all kind of evens out. I always end up fucking up my sleeping schedule, which I hate because I like going to sleep with Rebecca and she needs to go to bed before 2 in order to wake up for work. Maybe I should get a job...or start on my costumes. Or finish songs. Stuff like that T_T

Christmas was pretty nice. We made plans to go to Beck's parents house around 10 and then meet back at my grandmothers' house around 5, but my daddy called and really wanted us to have breakfast with them. So we wake up at like 7, rush over there, are ready to rush off to Beck's parent's house and we find out that my cousin Michelle, who was nine months pregnant with twin boys, lost both of them. My entire extended family was freaking out, and here I was, secretly disappointed that I wouldn't be able to present my grandmother with the song I wrote for her in front of them. It's sad, yes. But you know? Not a single one of them would come rushing to my side to comfort me and Rebecca if I had a baby die...plus, I am hardly close with them, so why let my X-mas be ruined? However, I did gain a newfound respect for my Aunt Jeanne (the one who never learned to read and write and still lives with my grandmother). She asks, after a slight fit of crying, "What do you think of Jackie's boyfriend?" And of course, after Rebecca and I expressed our contempt, she continued to tell us that she and my grandmother thought he was a pig and a sleeze and that my parents shouldn't have ever taken him in or let him get away with anything. I was like "OMG I love you." Finally, Tom isn't idolized! He's a piece of shit.

I did get to give the song to my grandmother and she loved it muchly. XD I put so much effort into it, so I am glad!

Other than that, everything went well. We got lots of nerdy-ass presents which Rebecca so ardently stacked under the tree. Seido has not left the X-mas tree alone and he eats all of Maho's food T_T

I am sorry that I never have anything interesting to say! lol Same old, same old. Read Beck's journal for any slightly juicy tidbits. All I can say is that I am very excited for Katsucon XD

I have to pee, yo. Like seriously.

XD I miss Kate and Ant and Rob like whoa XD We had tons of fun. I think I am falling ill from all the laughing and staying up way too late and ignoring my healthy eating habits for a week T_T We will be seeing Rob in 10 days or so, and Ant lives about twenty blocks away...so it's not like I won't see him. Plus, Kate is going to visit him soon and she might be up here again. I am so happy!

Christmas snuck up on me and I'm so not ready for it. I hardly had any money with which to buy presents, which upsets me since I wish I could buy my friends presents all the time XD I wanna clean up and make everything look nice so I can have peace of mind tonight <- Is a loser neatfreak.

I picked up a lot of extremely nerdy phrases this week. I think I've ascended to another level or dorkdom.

BTW I got a 3.4 GPA this semester! YAY! Kept my scholarship! I feel so relieved! I finished my song for my grandmother and I am gonna present it to her in front of all of my worthless relatives tomorrow at her house. I had to leave Rob here for like ten hours while I rushed my ass over to school to use the composition lab in order to finish it. I hardly even remember doing it. Maybe I can find some way to post it...?

I was up for 36 hours straight T_T_T I need to go the fuck to sleep.

I love you all and please have a Merry Christmas!! I can't wait to spend all my Christmas money on the new GC Naruto game and plenty of cosplay! XDXD


1. When you look at yourself in the mirror in the morning, what's the first thing you think? "Kate, your eyes are so bloodshot, you look like a heroin addict.

2. How much cash do you have on you? About fifteen cents.

3. What's a word that rhymes with "TEST"? Rest. Yeah, Rob. Take a fuckin nap.

4. Favorite planet? Uranus. And I'm not being funny either XD

5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone? My dad.

6. What is your favorite ring on your phone? A remix of the first movement of Carmina Burana!! XDXD

7. What shirt are you wearing? My red 'Karate Kid' shirt. I HAD to get it.

8. Do you "label" yourself? 'with a pricing gun' OMG Rob is my hero! Yeah, I'm a fucking nerd, dude.

9. Name the brand of your shoes you're currently wearing? Um...some fucking jewy cheaps ones Pay Less. Champion, I believe.

10. Bright or Dark Room? Dark. I am vampire. Light hurts me.

11. What do think of the person who took this before you? Rob is like my god. I heart him hardcore.

13. What were you doing at midnight last night? Watching Rob try to beat the last Wiz Pig race on Diddy Kong Racing, much to my hilarity. That kid has some perserverance.

14. What did your last text message you received on your cell say? OMFG It's a pix text from Beck's sister, she sent me a pic of one of her Naruto pins and backed it up with a recording of Naruto Ondo *dies laughing*

15. Where is your nearest 7-11? About three blocks on 12th and Chestnut Street.

16. What's a saying that you say a lot? "Surprise, buttseks!"

17. Who told you they loved you last? Rebecca. She has an impulsive need to announce that about every sixteen seconds.

18. Last furry thing you petted? Sarah's kitty, Jacques-Pierre (seido) or Maho, my cat.

20. How many rolls of film do you need to get developed? I don't think I have any...hmm...good question.

21. Favorite age you have been so far? 19!

22. Your worst enemy? My total lack of a work ethic. And my naivety.

23. What is your current desktop picture? Some EdxRoy fanart Beck posted T_T lol

24. What was the last thing you said to someone? "Read it" to Rebecca reading a gaming mag about that Jack Thompson loser who can kiss my ass.

25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to change a major regret? A million bucks easily. If you never did anything wrong, then you would never learn anything. I want a millions dollars to buy my friends lots of presents and take them out to dinner and go to tons of cons and pay my parents back for all of their generous donations.

26. Do you masturbate frequently? Dude, I am going out with Rebecca. She's a fucking nymphomaniac. Do you really think I need to masturbate?

27. The last song you listened to? The one I just wrote for my grandmother.

PS: MERRY X-MAS TO ALL YOU NERDS! XDXDXD

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( See creoa's results. )


Almost done with the semester!!! XDXD One more day and one more final! ^_^ I will be having my string quartet performed tomorrow at the composition workshop. I have a few tings to make up, a song to finish, and a few CD's to burn my World Music teacher. I also had my performance last night with Wolrd Music Ensemble and I think I did pretty well performing Open your Mind! Luckily Beck got it on tape. I couldn't've done it without her being there.

I'm gonna make some dinner. I need to start working on costumes for Katsucon!

Dear Santa... Dear Santa, This year I've been busy! In February I ruled Iran as a kind and benevolent dictator (700 points). In January I pulled over and changed kiki_muffins's flat tire (15 points). Last Friday I gave stardustshadow a life-saving blood transfusion (50 points). Last Sunday I farted in an elevator (-6 points). Last Monday I caught a purse-snatcher who stole darin56's purse (30 points). Overall, I've been nice (789 points). For Christmas I deserve a new dolly! Sincerely, creoa

Write your letter to Santa! Enter your LJ username:

LMAO...why Ant. I never knew XD

Heeeeeeeey....

Beck and I totally need to stop staying up until the asscrack of dawn on school nights. It's not helping matters!

I talked to Evan (my heavenly advisor and chair of the comp depo.) about me being all stressed out about maintaining my scholarship and being well in his class and switching World Music Ensemble with Composers' Ensemble so that I may get credit for WME, and he was like "Sounds good. You're doing fine and you've come such a long way. I'm not just your advisor for school, you know. You can come to me anytime and I'll just close the door and we'll talk about whatever you want." I fucking heart him so much. How the fuck did I get so lucky? I am watching his dogs again in January. I heart them too XD

Anyway. I have all my papers in and just need to take a few little finals and do some make up for Jazz Ear Training. I am contemplating catching up with the Naruto fillers since I'm about ten episodes behind...but it's almost not worth it. Is anyone still watching those goofy fillers...? This HAS to be the longest stream of them in history T_T

Beck and I just bought Shinobu Kokoro *avid yaoi manga collector* and for anyone who has never read it, get this...the manga-ka's name is...Temari Matsumoto. If that isn't bad enough, her yaoi story is about ninja wearing hakama.

Anyone else see the Naruto/Bleach connection? Beautifully psycho Japanese fangirl artist changes name in honor of two favorite blond badass female characters from popular anime and completes smutty manga emulating characters and storyline of said favorites. Holy crap, she is my hero.

I am changing my name to Aeris Belldandy and making a manga about gay samurai struggling to find love as they journey across uncharted lands searching for crystals and materia and meeting goddesses and Cetra and fighting crazed science experiments who have disturbing maternal preoccupations.

It's decided. I'm doing it.

If I were paid for every one of these that I have filled out in my lifetime, I'd be giving Bill Gates a run for him...um...money.

01. Fallen for your best friend? That's kind of a werid question for me to answer. Beck IS my best friend. Before that...? Hmm...
02. Made out with JUST a friend? Sure. When I was single of course...
03. Been rejected? Haven't we all?
04. Been in true love? Yes.
05. Been in lust? Oh yeah....lol
06. Used someone? Never would I even consider it.
07. Been used? Oh yeah, back when I was in middle schoo, like hardcore. I was a depressed pushoever who didn't have any real friends and could never say no. It was a sad sight. I STILL have problems saying no and being assertive.
08. Cheated on someone? On old boyfriends? Yeah, I never liked the that much T_T The stories I have....ask Rebecca about this one though, she is the worst!
09. Been cheated on? Sort of. I had my first real boyfriend when I was a freshman in high school, and this kid would askk all the time if I cheated on him and I would insist that I didn't (even though I did with his cousin in the next room)and he went off and started going out with this tremendouly ugly girl from his high school. Like it was okay! What an asshole! lol Even so, I think that you are genuinely happy with someone you love, then cheating is pointless bullshit.
10. Been kissed? Duh ^^;;
11. Done something you regret? Sure, but I try not to dwell on it. Everything happens for a reason, if you ask me. We gotta move on and learn from our mistakes.

W h o w a s t h e l a s t p e r s o n . . .

12. You touched? Rebecca.
13. You talked to? Rebecca.
14. You hugged? Rebecca...lol
15. You text messaged? Rebecca.
16. You called? Uh...lol...Rebecca.
17. You yelled at? My father last night when I called with computer-not-burning-anime problems and he was getting impatient T_T
18. You laughed at? Rebecca.
19. You had a crush on? Rock Lee :X
20. Broke your heart? Hmm...he shall not be named. Long ago. Insignificant now.

D o Y o u ?

22. Color your hair? I'm all natural, baby. Who would dye this head of hair? *imitates an Herbal Essences commercial*
24. Piercings? None.
25. Have a boyfriend/girlfiend/both? Duh...Rebecca.
26. Floss daily? Not really...but I take pretty good care of my teeth. They are in good shape.
27. Own a webcam? Actually, no.
28. Ever get off the damn computer? I try.
29. Sprechen sie deutsche? No, I do not speak much German.
30. Habla espanol? A little. I took two years of Spanish.

G e n e r a l Q u e s t i o n s

40. Considered a life of crime? No way, man, I am the sweetest thing on earth ^_^_^_^_^
41. Considered being a hooker? Hahah yeah! But would never let me though...lol she'd do it before me.
42. Considered being a pimp? Pimps are disgusting.
43. Are you psycho? Charmingly so.
45. Schizophrenic? Who knows?
46. Obsessive? When anime and all sorts of good things are in your life, who wouldn't be obsessively?
47. Obsessive compulsive? Yeah. About tidiness and organization. I'm hardcore.
48. Panic? Rarely. When I get really lost driving, or when things go wrong during big, important events. I can get alittle stressed and freaky T_T
49. Anxiety? Not often, but I have REALLY bad nightmares about being like...seven or eight hours late for things. I definitely have a problem with rushing and being afraid of being late.
50. Depressed? Been there, done that. Fine now ^_^ Life is good.
51. Suicidal? I'm not. Suicide has such an awful stigma here. If we lived in Japan, for example....
52. Obsessed with Hate? I am the least hateful person I know.
54. Dream of doing those things instead of just seeing them? Sure. Anything to add another layer of reality. I think we all do this.

R a n d o m S t u f f . . .

55. If you could be anywhere, where would you be? At an anime convention with good company and awesome people/cosplayers!
56. What would you be doing? Cosplaying, laughing, you know...having fun ^_^
58. What are you listening to? Revising some of my recent compositions.
59. Can you do anything freakish with your body? I have really bad/interesting colon problems, but I don't think anyone wants to hear the gory details...
60. Chicken or fish? Chicke is fine...but fish...fish is in sushi...and I LOVE SUSHI. I AM sushi.
61. Do you have a favorite animal, no matter how lame it may be? Dogs, cats, sharks, dolphins (they are sexy beasts), and whales, which are so beautiful I can't even look at a picture of one withoput getting teary-eyed, and hm...I wish mythological creatures still existed. Can you even imagine how beautiful a pegasus or a unicorn would be in real life?

C u r r e n t l y :

62. Current Clothes: ...I'm in my pajamas. Star Wars t-shirt and gray sweat pants. With a Naruto headband (jk...that was a few minutes ago)
63. Current Mood: Just fine, thanks. A little anxious about school, excited to go to NJ today, annoyed at having to to go my Modernism class first T_T
64. Current Taste: Peanut-butter with bread residue.
65. Current Hair: Up with a messy bun with my 'bangs' pushed to my right side. Looking alright if you ask me.
66. Current Annoyance: Modernism is SO boring!
67. Current Smell: My cat just took a dump *sigh* Gross, Maho.
68. Current thing I ought to be doing: Composing. I should ALWAYS be composing.
69. Current Desktop Picture: A snowy FMA landscape with Ed lobbing a huge snowball at a smexily smirking Roy.
70. Current Favorite Group: Group? Japanese: Orange Range. American: Rennaisance.
71. Current Book:= White Oleander.
72. Current DVD In Player: FMA bootleg vol. 2.
73. Current Refreshment: Water, baby.
74. Current Worry: That I will do poorly in Jazz Ear Training and not maintain my scholarship. But I worry about that all the time.

F a v o r i t e s :
76. Food: Sushi (or pretty much any Asian cuisine)
77. Drink: V8...not V8 Splash...the original tomatoe/veggie juice. Helps prevent cancer by like 75%! I drink like a quart a day, no lie.
78. Color: White (yes, I know that is not a color) and anything pastel. And Rock Lee Green. Because I love him.
79. Shoes: Fuck shoes. I hate wearing shoes T_T
80. Candy: I don't like candy. Maybe *some* Japanese candy is alright...
81. Animal: Akamaru is really sexy in the time jump. Me and Beck are fighting over him.
82. Movie: American? Harry Potter, LOTR, Star Wars, Pirates of the Caribbean, Donnie Darko, American Beauty...I have a ton. Japanese:? Moonchild (porn), fucking Advent Children by far!, Princess Mononoke, Howl's Moving Castle, Spirited Away, and I have a nasty, gory soft spot for Akira, which is so beautifully fucked up it makes my world go 'round.
83. Dance: Dance Dance Revolution!
84. Vegetable: Celery.

F u t u r e :
85. What do you want to be when you get older? Well...I go to school for music...so um...hm.... I am thinking I want to get my doctrit in Ethnomusicalogy or something...so I could compose, but have a steady income teaching at a university or something. That way I'd be free to compose without worrying about feeding myself and Rebecca.
86: Married? Me and Rebecca forever.
87: Kids? We want to little girls, Reiannon and Morgana *gets all teary-eyed*
88: Living Where? Wherever we are safe and happy....and whatever is anime-convention-convenient ^_^_^;;

T h i s o r T h a t :
89: Gay or straight? Hard to say. I am living a lesbian lifestyle so I tell people I am a lesbian. It's easier that way and it's less likely that men will try to pursue you T_T
90: Boxers or Briefs? Boxer-briefs are to homosexual choice of underwear. Just watch Queer as Folk.
91: Reading or Writing? Fanfiction? Both! Mmmmmm....smut!
92: Basketball or Baseball? I despise sports.
93: Walking or Running? Running.
95: Left or Right? I don't know the difference...lol
96: TV Shows or Movies? Anime. I HATE cable TV and I am particular with movies.
97: Jim Morrison or Tomh Yorke? WTF?
98: Rap or Rock? Rock Lee? Um...J-pop/rock. I can't stand rap.
99: Day or Night? Night.
100. What people call you? Kate. You can call me Kate. Or whatever you want. I don't care.

Hey guys. Fill this out. Seriously. Pwease...?

Be careful what you say, though...my wife is watching and reading <-< lol. I will fill one out for whom ever has one, I promise!

And just to make things clear ahead of time...I do not smoke or drink. Nor have I ever. I am one of those stupid morons who gets all offended when people assume I do such things. T_T I am so pathetic. I am gonna eat some sushi.


My name:

Where did we meet:

Take a stab at my middle name:

How long have you known me:

When is the last time that we saw each other:

Do I smoke:

Do I drink:

Do I curse:

Do I believe in God:

When is my birthday:

What was your first impression of upon meeting me:

Color of my eyes:

Do I have any siblings:

What's one of my favorite things to do:

Am I funny:

Do you remember one of the first things I said to you:

What's my favorite type of music:

What is the best feature about me:

Am I shy or outgoing:

Am I a rebel or do I follow the rules:

Do I have any special talents:

Would you consider me a friend/good friend:

Would you call me preppy, average, sporty, punk, hippie, glam, nerdy, snobby, or something else (what):

Have you ever seen me cry:

Are my parents still together:

If I had broccoli stuck in my teeth would you tell me:

Have you ever hugged me:

Do you miss me...do you think i miss you:

What is my favorite food:

Have you ever had a crush on me:

If there was one good nickname for me, what would it be:

What's your favorite memory of me:

What is my worst habit:

If you and I were stranded on a desert island, what one thing would I bring:

I've seen some people filling this out and snagged it. Beck and I have made crazy lists of anime/manga that we've seen/owned...so this was kind of fun.

Check those you have seen. For TV and OVA series, you have to have watched at least one full episode. For one-shot stuff like films, you have to have watched the whole thing.
M= Manga
A= Anime

I. Action and Adventure
(A) .hack//SIGN
() Airmaster
(A) Battle Arena Toshinden
(A/M) Bleach
(A) Blood+
(A) Burst Angel
(A) City Hunter
(A/M) Cowboy Bebop
(A/M) Dragonball (any)
(A) Flame of Recca
(A/M) GetBackers
(A) Inu Yasha (
(A) Lupin III (any)
(A) Mai-HiME
(A/M) Naruto
(A/M) One Piece
(A) Tenjou Tenge
(A) TRIGUN
(A) Saiyuki
(A) Yu Yu Hakusho

Total Here: 19/20

II. Comedy and Parody
() 2x2 = Shinobuden
(A) Adventures of the Mini Goddesses
(A/M) All Purpose Cultural Catgirl Nuku Nuku
(A/M) Azumanga Daioh
() Bokusatsu Tenshi Dokuro-chan
(A/M) Di Gi Charat
(A) Dragon Half
(A/M) Excel Saga
(A/M) Fruits Basket
(A) Galaxy Angel
(A/M) Here is Greenwood
(A/M) Kodomo no Omocha
(A) Kyou Kara Maou!
(A/M) Midori Days
(A) Pani Poni Dash
(A) Project A-ko
(A/M) Ranma 1/2
(A) Tenchi
(A) Those Who Hunt Elves
(A) Urusei Yatsura

Total Here: 18/20

III. Drama and Miscellaneous
(M) Beck
(A/M) Full Moon wo Sagashite
(A) Gankutsuou
(A/M) Genshiken
() Glass Mask (original or new)
(A) Haibane Renmei
() Hitsuji no Uta
(A) Honey & Clover
(A) Kaleido Star
() Last
(A) Le Portraite de Petite Cossette
() Monster
(A/M) Paradise Kiss
(A) Princess Mononoke
(A) Read or Die OVA
(A) Speed Grapher
() Twin Spica
(A) Weiss Kreuz
(A) Wings of Honneamise
(A o_o) Yakitate!! Japan

Total Here 15/20

IV. Ecchi/Mature
(A) Agent AIKa
(A) Cutey Honey
() Ebichu
(A) Golden Boy
(A) Grenadier
(A) Hand Maid May
(A) He Is My Master
() Iketeru Futari
(A) La Blue Girl
() Lingerie Senshi Papillon Rose
(A/M) Mahoromatic
(A) Mezzo Forte
(A/M) Miyuki-chan in Wonderland
() My Dear Marie
() Najica Blitz Tactics
(A/M) Negima
(A) Puni Puni Poemy
() Urotsukidoji: Legend of the Overfiend
(A) Wicked City
(A) Yumeria

Total Here: 14/20

V. Fantasy and Supernatural
(A/M) Angel Sanctuary
() Aquarian Age
(A/M) Berserk
(A) El Hazard
(A) Final Fantasy Unlimited
(A/M) Fullmetal Alchemist
(A) Howl's Moving Castle
(A) Magic Knight Rayearth
() Mushishi
(A) Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind
(A) Record of Loddoss War
(A/M) Scrapped Princess
(A) Slayers
() Tales of Eternia
(A) Trinity Blood
(A/M) Tsubasa Chronicle
(A) Vampire Hunter D
(A) Violinist of Hameln
(A) Vision of Escaflowne
(A) X: TV

Total Here: 17/20

VI. Historical and Alternate History
() Anne of Green Gables
() Basilisk
() Barefoot Gen
(A) Chrono Crusade
(A) Grave of the Fireflies
() Fire Tripper
() Kaidomaru
() Legend of Condor Hero
() Millennium Actress
(A) Nadia - Secret of Blue Water
(A) Ninja Scroll
() Otogizoushi
(A) Peacemaker Kurogane
(A) Porco Rosso
(A) Rose of Versailles
(A/M) Rurouni Kenshin
() Samurai 7
(A) Samurai Champloo
(A) Steel Angel Kurumi
() Victorian Romance Emma

Total Here: 10/20

VII. Kids and Family
(A/M) Angelic Layer
(A) Astro Boy
(A) Beyblade
(A) Castle in the Sky
(A) Detective Conan
(A/M) Digimon
() Doraemon
(A) Hamtaro
(A) Kiki's Delivery Service
(A) Kimba the White Lion
(A) Monster Rancher
(A) My Neighbour Totoro
(A) Pokemon
(A) Samurai Pizza Cats
() Sazae-san
(A) SD Gundam Force
(A) Sonic X
(A) Speed Racer
(A) Spirited Away
(A) Yu-Gi-Oh

Total Here: 18/20

VIII. Magical Girls and Boys
(A/M) Cardcaptor Sakura
(A/M) DNAngel
(A) Earth Girl Arjuna
(A) Erementar Gerad
() Hime-chan no Ribbon
() Kamikaze Kaitou Jeanne
(A) Magic Users Club
(A) Magical Girl Pretty Sammy
(A) Magical Stage Fancy La La
() Mahou no Star Magical Emi
(A) Mahou Shoujo Lyrical Nanoha
() Mythical Detective Loki Ragnarok
() Ojamajou DoReMi
() Oku-sama wa Mahou Shoujo
(A/M) Pretear
(A/M) Sailor Moon
() Saint Tail
(A) Tokyo Mew Mew
(A) Ultra Maniac
(A) Wedding Peach

Total Here: 13/20

IX. Romance
(A/M) Ah! My Goddess
(A) Ai Yori Aoshi
(A) Air
(A) Ayashi no Ceres
(A) Boys Be
(A/M) Chobits
(A/M) Fushigi Yuugi
(A) Hana Yori Dango
(A/M) His and Her Circumstances
(A) Kimagure Orange Road
() Kimi ga Nozomu Eien
(A/M) Love Hina
(A) Maison Ikkoku
(A) Marmalade Boy
(M) Peach Girl
(A) Piano
(A) Please Teacher!
(A/M) SaiKano
(A/M) To Heart
(A) Video Girl Ai

Total Here: 19/20

X. Science-Fiction
(A) Appleseed
(A) Blue Seed
(A) Bubblegum Crisis (any)
(A) Crest of the Stars
(A) Galaxy Express 999
(A) Gundam (any) [Wing, G, 08th MS, and Seed]
(A) Macross (any)
(A) Outlaw Star
(A) Patlabor
() Planetes
() Please Save My Earth
(A) RahXephon
(A) Saber Marionette (any)
(A) s-CRY-ed
(A) Soukyuu no Fafner
() Space Battleship Yamamoto (a.k.a.: Star Blazers)
(A) Stellvia
(A) Transformers (any)
(A) Voices of a Distant Star
(A) Xenosaga: The Animation

Total Here: 17/20

XI. Shounen-Ai and Shoujo-Ai
(I want!) Ai no Kusabi
(A) Descendants of Darkness/Yami no Matsuei
(A/M) Earthian
(A/M) FAKE
() Fish in the Trap
() Galaxy Fraulin Yuna
(A/M) Gravitation
(A) Haru wo Daiteita
() Kannazuki no Miko
(A/M) Kizuna
() Lesson XX
(A/M) Loveless
(A) Maria-sama ga Miteru
(A) Mirage of Blaze
() Oniisama E
() Seikimatsu Darling
() Song of the Wind in the Trees
(A) Sukisho
(A) Yami to Boushi to Hon no Tabibito
() Zetsuai/Bronze

Total Here: 12/20

XII. Sports
() Ace wo Nerae
() Ashita no Joe
() Ayane's High Kick
() Baki the Grappler
(A) Battle Athletes
() Buzzer Beater
() Captain Tsubasa
() Eyeshield 21
() Ginban Kaleidoscope
() Hajime no Ippo
(A/M) Hikaru no Go
(A) Initial D
() Major
() Monkey Turn
() One Pound Gospel
(A) Prince of Tennis
(A) Princess Nine
(A) Slam Dunk
(A) Suzuka
() Wild Striker

Total Here: 8/20 I HATE sports anime o_o

XIII. Surreal and Psychological (by far my favorite genre!)
(A) Akira
(A) Betterman
(A) Boogiepop Phantom
(A) Elfen Lied
(A/M) FLCL
(A) Gantz
(A) Ghost in the Shell
(A) Hellsing
(A) Jigoku Shoujo
() Karas
(A) Madlax
(A) Melody of Oblivion
(A/M) Neon Genesis Evangelion
(A) Noir
(A) Paranoia Agent
(A) Perfect Blue
() Princess Tutu
(A/M) Revolutionary Girl Utena
(A) Serial Experiments Lain
(A) Texnolyze

My Total: 18/20

Grand total: 198/260

Not too bad ^^; I think that's like 75% or something *sucks balls at math*. I always had pretty good sources...I guess I entered the anime world pretty lucky. Beck and I have seen pretty much the exact same things... I wouldn't surprised if her list in exactly the same. We usually post updated lists of our anime watching and manga collecting so I don't miss any (which I always do, I am sure). This list might help o_O

I probably shouldn't write anything like what I am about to - I don't wanna jinx anything - but I really worry too much about school.

For anyone who doesn't know, I have ten classes this semester. I'm taking well over 18 credits and three classes for non-credit. That that I mind! I LOVE my major and I love being able to write music for homework and hopefully a living and whatnot... but I am always so worried that I am doing poorly.

I have a really shitty work ethic, I don't like to read for homework, I hate practicing (I'll practice on my own for hours...but if it's assigned...I can't bring myself to do it) and I'm completely last minute. So I'll be going along week, by week, fine, relatively relaxed, and then I'll have a huge test or a huge song or a huge paper due...and for the few days before the due date, I'll be a complete stressed-out mess. Seriously. I become grumpy and irritable and I want to jump out a window, never do an once of work again, pray for somehting horrible to happen to me so that I won't get in trouble or be blamed for doing things half-assed ....and I'll worry and worry and worry that I'll never do well or get it done and it's all over and I'll lose my scholarship...

...and somehow I always pull it together and end up with a 95 or something on my test, a compliment from my major teacher about my song (that I finished ten minutes before my lesson) or a decent grade on my paper that somehow managed to get there on time. And I have no idea how this happens. I need to learn to trust myself, and say "Kate...you always pull this shit together somehow, some way...so chill out and remember that!" But then sometimes I find some weird alternate route around handing in a homework assigment on time or end up doing some Jazz Ear Training assignments in the labs later int he week instead of the class...and then I start procrastinating hardcore and start worrying again! I mean...it's nice I suppose to not have to put 100% effort into reading a book or practicing (I always put 100% into my actual composing in case you were curious), and still get by with A's and B's. But it's almost not worth putting it all off until the last minute when I get to ridiculously stressed out and angry with myself. And I worry! For hours! "Oh, shit, I missed that class today, I am gonna lose my scholarship!" And my school is pretty hardcore about not letting you miss classes. 2 or 3 absences tops or your grade drops. I love school, I love my classes, and there is no where better to go for music composition...but it's all my fault that I get so stressed out. I'm so afraid that I'll get kicked out and stupid crap like that....

I need to give myself some more credit.

I just figured out Life from BLEACH on the piano and I am totally jamming. I love that song. The bass line for the chorus is AWESOME. I arranged Houki Boshi and Life is Like a Boat for piano awhile ago, and I feel guilty for continually betraying old Bleach songs for the progressively awesome new ones that come out. I think me and Beck totally got Rob into Happy People. It's the best when blasted in a car with a backseat full of Bleach-goons. Then you get that horribly unmelodious chorus of "HAPPY PEOPLE'S IN THE HOUSE!!!" in which case 70% of the people are most likely tone deaf and it just makes it all the more fun.

I have a ten-twenty page paper due in World Music tomorrow at 10. Did I start it yet? No. Will I start it before dark? Nope. However...here is the fun part...I get to fucking write it on Japanese pop music. OH DEAR GOD HOW HORRIBLE! I THINK I MIGHT DIE AT THE SHEER HORRIDNESS AT HAVING TO WRITE AN ENTIRE PAPER ON ONE OF MY FAVORITE THINGS ON EARTH! See why I can't complain? I'l lget struck by lightening or something and the Goddess will be like "BITCH. Enjoy your nerdy-ass libral-as-all-fucking-hell-that-people-had-to-skip-school-when-Bush-won-because-they-were-so-depressed artistically and musically advanced, prestigious, cultural and perfect-for-you-school and stop thinking that you have it hard! At least you get to do what you love!" Yeah, yeah...I'm gonna shut up now...

But hell yeah...J-pop paper! I think I shall compare it to the horrors of American pop, and seriously...as someone who has arranged and figured out and even performed like 200 Japanese songs...I think I should do alright 0_0

I decked my Naruto messenger bag out hardcore in Naruto patches and keychains and all the weird Naruto shit I have. It looks SO FUCKING NARUTARDED. I love it like I love Yaoi.

Speaking of Yaoi...I am working on some Neji/Lee fics. I LOVE that couple. Lee is my ultimate love *dreamy sigh*

I should take a nap before my long-ass paper. I was up until 4 working on my paper for Modernism that Beck helped me do and managed to get done in enough time to print it out and book it over to class. So I am tired and probably not making sense.

Don't worry...no one will blame you if you don't read this. T_T_T I'm gonna play some Katamari.