CREOA (soon to be WhiteLetterSky...)

Fri, 11 Aug 2006 14:20:27 GMT

In order to find out what was going on with Steph, I tried to go up and gently talk to her, but she wouldn't open the door (she might not have been there) so I tried to talk to her through the door. To avoid any misconstruing or false accusations, I recorded my speech as I spoke to her so that no one could accuse me of saying anything I did not say.

I am serious. If you want to hear both sides of the story, come to me. I have been watching this and have been apart of this the entire time. Also, I am uninvolved in the current drama, other than the fact that my girlfriend has been slandered by people she holds dear. You come to me before you cast judgement. This whole situation is disgusting. I cannot believe grown adults would act this way. We are all friends here. This is ridiculous.

You find out this side of the story before you go making vindictive posts and talking poorly. Jesus Christ.

My e-mail: severedtwilight@yahoo.com.

Let's end this.

Oh, the lazy LJ bitch I am...

Tue, 21 Mar 2006 19:13:19 GMT

Hey everyone! Yes, I know, I suck ass and don't update my journal nearly as often as I should. My girlfriend does all the frantic updating ^_~ I feel a lot that it is practically pointless to even bother writing anything since Rebecca pretty much is always giving everyone the lowdown, anyway.

Before I do any con reports or hangout descriptions, I should tell everyone, I am taking a medical leave of absences from school. Basically, I wore myself out so severely between cons and driving and hangouts and not taking any breaks or weekends to myself that I have literally zero motivation to do anything but sleep, since I haven't had a moment to myself since practically the summer. It's not that I don't love hanging out with everyone and picking people up who need it, or making extravagant weekend plans, but honestly, I don't get nearly enough sleep, or any time to myself where I can relaz my mind and body, and it's completely drained me of everything. This is on top of my already documented medical problems with my colon, which causes severe fatigue in and of itself. I usually like to be active, and if I *don't* anna do anything, there is usually a problem. Anyone who knows me knows I LOVE University of the Arts and I LOVE my major more than anything. but attendance is strict here, and this semester I'm taking three less classes than I usually do, which is still seven. I feel like I'm dying when I have to wake up at 9:30 and that is totally not like me. I'm irritable, unmotivated and completely sluggish, plus I've never felt less healthy. And it's bad, because I WANT to be here. All I want to do is compose, and sometimes I'm even too tired to go to the lab with Ty to work on our music, which is completely ridiculous, since it's one of my favorite things to do. I've been talking to my advisor, my major teacher and my counselor and they all agree that this would be wise. I can still take major lessons so I don't fall behind in my actual major. I won't lose my scholarship, which I would have if I got below a 3.0 GPA, and I can FINALLY take some time to sleep, maybe get a job, take some martial arts, and get my body and mind feeling healthy and wholesome again, instead of strained and exhausted.

I feel like I've been playing Mother Theresa way too often lately. I'm completely obsessed with helping people, and since I love you guys so much, I am always trying to find some ridiculous manner in which I could assist my friends in need, whether it's giving them a ride or picking them up or paying for food or coming to visit. I already get shit from my parents because of my credit card bills, with gas and food and shit, and sometimes I even opt to miss class so I can be somewhere to pick someone up, or go to a con, or something, and that s one of the reasons I have to take the rest of the semester off. Do me a favor, guys. If I offer to do something ridiculous in order to help you and it's completely out of my way, tell me so and don't let me do it!!! lol it's really harming me! I absolutely don't want anyone to feel badly if I've helped you in the past, but it's getting to the point where I haven't taken a moment to myself because I'm constantly trying to do stuff for people, and it's taking a serious toll on my school work and I'm starting to hate myself for it. I know you guys love me and appreciate me, but don't let me do ridiculous things when there are other ways to get around it. I'm still taking Rob and Steph to Tekko, and I'll be hanging around the con a little bit, but I made plans with one of my friends from Carnegie Melon and I'll be spending Friday or Saturday with him. He's a MI friend whom I haven't seen in three years. I apologize...you guys won't have access to my car for a day or two. Just enjoy the con ^^; I really wish Beck was going. I by no means am trying to guilt anyone! I just wanted everyone to know how tired I am and I'm doing badly in school because of it. Sometimes I don't know what's good for me.

Anyway, I had a lot of fun this weekend, except for Rebecca getting sick O_O I love you puppy! I've been trying to take good care of her. I hope she feels better soon! I think I'll return sometime today to give con updates and more lengthy banter XD

I love you guys, I really do. I hope no one takes offense to this. I'm just so tired...

I'll be back soon to update. I am quite relieved about taking the rest of the semester off. I think that will be endlessly good for me. Let's hope so...

Post-con sadness, pre-con report

Tue, 21 Feb 2006 08:31:58 GMT

http://kevan.org/johari?name=Creoa

I had SO MUCH FUNCKING FUN AT THE CON!

Con report up and coming. Or just read Beck's in the meantime.

I love EVERYONE so much!

And...I love Sanji o_O I can't believe myself.

Much love to everyone! I love you all more than you could ever know and thank you for everything! I'm glady ou are all home and safe. Will update soon!

<3

HAPPY B-DAY TO ME!

Sun, 12 Feb 2006 03:00:12 GMT

Thanks for all the birthday wishes, everyone!! Much love and buttsecks!

I've been pretty stressed out since my sleeping schedule is all whacked and I can hardly wake up for my classes. I let my advisor know and all my prof's have my doctors' note, so hopefully my absenses will be excused my and situation understood.

Speaking of alleviating stress: IF ANYONE CAN PLEASE HELP ME TO MAKE ZABUZA'S SWORD, THAT WOULD BE VERY FUCKING APPRECIATED! OR...I WILL GIVE SOMEONE 30 DOLLARS IF THEY LET ME BORROW THEIR PRE-MADE SWORD FOR THIS CON!!! PASS IT ON TO FRIENDS AND LOVED ONES! KATIE GAUNT BADLY NEEDS ZABUZA SWORD!!

I have all my Katsu costumes done (which is really only Zabuza, which is looking hot besides the fucking sword)I am really excited! I have a sewing machine now, btw...my mum let me borrow hers and gave me a refresher course. That will help a lot in the future!

FYI, a fellow comp major and myself have been collaborating lately and I think our shit is pretty awesome. It's sort of pop/trance with a hint of techno and New Age. We've been taking turns with ideas; the first song was his concept, then the second mine, and so on. I sing and write all the lyrics, and he does most of the arranging/input into Garage Band, etc, since he know rhythms and percussion better than I. I LOVE working with him, and I really like everything we've done so far. We're gonna make an album and get is mastered, so we'll see how that works out XD If anyone wants to hear our shit, I can send it via IM or show you at Katsu. I think it has some potential XD

Anyway, thanks again for the b-day wishes! It was a nice, relaxing birthday. 20, huh? Now I can make fun of stupid, stereotypical teenagers without making any refernce to myself, yay!

Much love! See you all soon! JJ....we'll have a dual-b-day celebration at Katsu! Love you all!

DO IT GUYS

Thu, 26 Jan 2006 16:51:57 GMT

"Write a message to me in the voice/style of the anime/manga character you are best known for/most identify with. "Me" can either be the anime/manga character you most associate me with, either from the same series you chose for your character, "me" as Tiffany, or "me" as an anime/manga character from another series if you feel like doing a wacky crossover. Just put who you're writing as, and who you're writing to, in (( )) at the end of your post"

Make me proud!

"Have you ever heard of the Orange Range?"

Sat, 21 Jan 2006 04:42:44 GMT

I had my Wushu class on Thursday.

Awesome. Different and far more badass than Kenpo.

Glenn said when he went in, he didn't take a class, and Master Li just evaluated him; you know, asked him to do a few basic kicks, a tornado kick, etc. Then they sat down and discussed the plan and payment.

That never happened with me. I guess since John and Glenn know what they are doing, he assumed I did too, and threw me right into a class -_-;; lol not that I didn't want to take one! But I was gonna sit around until 8, but I was there with Glenn around 5:40 so he was like "Get changed and take a class!" I was like "OMG!" And they have these really complex fifteen minute warm-ups so I had to watch everyone and wing it hardcore.

So for the rest of the class, I went ont he side with this higher-level Asian guy and he showed me their style of tornado kicks, butterfly kicks and weird step-spinning-inside-outside kicks. Totally fun, new and now I am sore as fuck.

However. I feel like an asshole and probably shouldn't. After class I went over to Master Li (who was talking to Glenn) and he was like...in very vad English..."You discuss plan with Glenn and get back to me," and I was thinking I still had to sit down with him. So I asked "Alright, when do you want me to come in again?" And he replied "Well you have to pay before you take nother class, you understand that right?" And I blushed like a retard and was like "Oh yeah, of course!" Stuff like that embarresses me...lol. I didn't mean to imply anything, I just figured we had to sit down and talk about it like the everyone else! Do you think maybe it was just because of the language gap and he was trying to get everything across as clearly as possible? I KNOW you have to pay to take classes. It would have been nice to get some sort of deal...but I can't expect that. And didn't. And felt like a moron just for being there. But hey, it's hard to understand each other when one of you hardly speaks decent English T_T I hope he likes me though!

I think I may be able to get a job at the school. If I get my FAFSA in and become a Work Study student, I can do little things every month and I heard getting 100 bucks is easy as pie. I hope! I really wanna take Wushu!

Anyway. I don't know if we are going to be able to make it to both Tekkoshocon and AnimeBoston. I don't think we'll both have enough money for both cons. Who knows, though. I still need to worry about costumes. And getting a job and paying for Wushi T_T

I'm glad it's the weekend. I've been kind of depressed lately. I wish I could make money and my parent's weren't so stupid about it...

I am sore as hell. I guess that's what happens when you've been out of the martial arts business for a year and a half.

EDIT: Scratch sore. I actually can hardly walk. All I did was kick for an hour. Now...I am pretty flexible and I can kick well over my head...but Wushu...Wushi is NUTS. Ow, baby. Ow.

Schedule

Thu, 19 Jan 2006 13:03:58 GMT

This is in case I forget, Beck forgets or anyone is curious as to days that I will be available.

Monday: 8:30am-9:50am - Orchestration
10:00am-11:20am - Jazz Ear Training II
1:00pm-2:20pm - Modernism II (hooray for being the only Libral Arts class I have to take!)

Tuesday: 3:00pm-4:20pm - Jazz Theory II (!? I cannot believe this one...lol)

Wednesday: 9:00am-10:00am - Major Lesson
10:15am-11:20am - Comp Department Wokshops, meeting, etc.
7:00pm-8:20pm - Interarts Ensemble (maybe...I did it last semester and wasn't planning on being in it again...)

Thursday: 8:30am-9:50am - Orchestration
10:00am-11:20am - Jazz Ear Training II
1:00pm-2:20pm - Modernism II
3:00pm-3:50pm - Class Jazz Piano II (four classes back-to-back...Mmmhmmm...*dies*)

Friday: 3:oopm-4:20pm - Jazz Theory II

This is not counting whether or not I try-out for one of the choirs or take World Music Ensemble again. I REALLY wanted to have my Wednesday's as free as possible, not only for extra time for study, but for trips to NJ. But if I take Wushu, I'll be going Tuesday and Thursday nights, so I can use those days for Jersey visits. Plus, I might be working weekends...let's hope so! It's about time I work to pay for something I really wanna do.

Tekkoshocon? Take Rob? Huh? Should we...? Will we have the money after squandering it at Katsu and saving up for ABoston? Are we insane...?

I haven't slept at all.

Much love.

Thu, 19 Jan 2006 08:27:49 GMT

School started on Tuesday.

Everything was going smoothly until I check my schedule on the UArts website Sunday night only to find that my schedule is not to be found.

Stupid glitch, right? Every other student was probably checking the same thing.

So I check it Monday morning. No schedule. It even says that I am not even registered for anything whatsoever.

WTF!?

Sarah comes over since I haven't seen her pretty much at all since she got home. I asked her what she thought might've happened.

"Oh? You didn't hear?" she askes me.

"...hear what?"

"Oh. Half the students' schedules got wiped."

Oh. Is that all? That's nice....

*kills people*

NICE JOB UARTS! I had registered way ahead of time, got into all the classes I had wanted, got my Wednesday's free, and this is what happens? Thanks a lot, fuckfaces, thanks A LOT!

On top of that, my cell phonefuvking miraculously stopped working. So I had a lovely stressful Tuesday morning, stomping over to school like an enraged Nazi, fighting through lines of stupid Freshmen at the Registrar who wanted to get shit copied, got my queer little "Spring 2006" sticker on the back of my ID that I 'so sorely' needed in order to do anything, and FINALLY got my schedule reinstated into the computer. One of the girls behind the counter actually had to find the hard copy that I filled out with my advisor and she herself inputted my schedule back into the system. Thank you, dear.

Then, I ditched my theory class (it's the first day and it's the easiest class I have. I am totally in SPED theory) and went to NJ to find the right Verizon store where they could fix my phone. It was in the Deptford mall, so I high-tailed it over there and they mercifully replaced it with no charge since the software was damaged (somehow). So props to Verizon. Fuck you to the UArts computer system. Props to girl who found and input my schedule.

I am not taking as many classes as I usually do this semester (OMG I've gone down from 10 to only 8! *dies*) but this is good. I'll have more time to work on my jury stuff when that comes up.

Another thing.

Something sort of happened when I was in NJ on Tuesday. I was with my friend Glenn (with whom I used to train in Okinawa Kenpo; we got out black betls together) and he and John have been taking Wushu now (Wushu is a form of Kung-fu btw). I've heard some amazing things about that crap they do in there, advanced tumbling, cooler weapons than what we did in Kenpo, and everything is much less commercialized and stupid and nobody cares about money here (unlike my last Sensei) and this guy is totally badass, right of the boat from China, and runs a pretty amazing school. The forms they do right off the bat are ten times more cool and advanced than what we were doing as black belts in Kenpo. So I went, watched, died and now...

I want to take it SO badly!!!!

I figure...if I can maybe work weekends, get at least 50 bucks a week, I can put a hundred into martial arts and a hundred into cons and costuming everything month. It's only about 90 a month. Yes, I know there are places around here around that range, and I wouldn't have to worry about Glenn picking me up at the station or calling my parents and begging them to pick me up and drop me off in the city afterwards, but you know? It's always worth it to go somewhere where you know someone. It's not too far, it's not too expensive, and I met Master Li; he is fucking amazing. I don't mind the commute too much, and I think it's important for me to actually start working and paying for something I really wanna do. I hardly got anything at the video game store, so I couldn't really put away for it, and the Korean grocery store where Beck works needs a person for the deli. They are really flexible and I love everyone there XD I think it would be worth it, and you guys know how I love martial arts and staying in shape and being healthy XD Maybe if I have more responsibility like this I'll be able to manage my time better. And if it gets too much, I'll just tell Master Li that I need to take a month or two off and come back when my school work is done.

Plus, who doens't want to learn how to do an aerial? (A no-handed cartwheel) Fucking hot, huh? People who have been there for a month are already doing shit like that, and backflips and round-offs and all sorts of awesome shit. Hoshi!!!!!!!!

Now I just have to talk to Chris at the store and see if I can work for him, along with making sure I can have those con weekends free. Let's hope for the best!

BTW. I saw Brokeback Mountain with Beck and Kate. FUCKING AMAZING!!! Two gorgeous actors, two gorgeous actresses, angst, love, secrecy, GAYNESS and best of all...SURPISE BUTTSECKS! And fucking wonderful Donnie Darko (Jake Gyllenhaal...hottest gay cowboy around with Heath Ledger in second) was quoted saying that he was fucking flattered that people thought he was bisexual and would be totally open and unafraid if he was sexually attracted to a man. HOLY FUCKING SHIT, DONNIE, TAKE ME HOME!! Or....uh...take Heath home. You're pretty 'familiar' with him, right? RIGHT? I've never seen so many fangirls and gay men in a theatre before. Everyone got hilariously silent at all the hot parts, which were, in care you were wondering, OH SO FUCKING HOT. There was also this out-of-place straight couple there and I'm sure the guy was thinking "Man, my g/f is gonna be so aroused by this movie, I am DEFINITELY getting laid tonight." Good thinking, bro.

Anyway. I should join Rebecca in bed. She took off today and I didn't have classes, so we slept until like 3 ><; Lazy assholes. So I am trying to tire myself out...maybe I'll read some smut XD

Goodnight. And get used to these long updates XD I'm ridiculous like that.

PS: Check out my icon made by my dearest Ant! I love you! And Kate and Rob, I miss you guys hardcore! Can't wait for Katsu! And wish me luck with finding work and commuting to NJ to make martial arts! ><;

sigh of relief

Thu, 05 Jan 2006 18:52:31 GMT

Alright everyone. I am back and fine XD I hate leaving emo updates since I am usually so cheery and content, and I don't want anyone to ever question it. I guess I'm allowed to piss and moan everyone once in a while XD

Thanks for the support thusfar! You guys are so sweet. I really have some amazing friends ^_^

Anyway. Care for some not-so-graphic details? (Or accidently graphic details?) Trips to the hospital for such things are always so...interesting to say the least. I have loads of fucked up stories. Since we've lived in New Jersey (and since I've turned 18 and can no longer to go the nearby Children's Hospital where my proctologist was a fucking hot 40-year-old Asian guy with an English accent *dies*) my current proctologist is this pretty cool guy. I can only hope that in return for him being so kind and understanding, I can make his job a little easier by being a young, soft, relatively attractive patient and not at all representing the majority of his regulars: wrinkled, overweight, middle-aged or older, Depends-brandishing grandparents with 'roids and ass pimples and unwarrented amounts of...hair *eeeee....* who are usually the more likely candidates for colon problems and bowel difficulites (BTW I will apologize now for those few images...I will immediately cut off my head the instant I have completed this post...scarring you for life).

So after my somewhat unbearable prep, that for some reason was worse than usual, I slept for a solid hour T_T, awoken by my father at 5 in the morning, and lethargically got dressed, grabbed a roll of toilet paper (for emerganies) and my contrainer of Destitan (doesn't only soothe diaper rash!) and got into the car. The hospital is pretty close by, but my father had never been there before, and the directions were wrong -_-;; but we got there in time, and I dragged my starved and empty ass into the impressive facility. I probably looked albino at this point, with blood-shot eyes induced by fatigue and zero pigment on my malnurished and already pale-as-fuck skin. We waited for a short time in the waiting room for surgeries/similar procedures while the receptionist took care of a few impending patients. Basically, you sign in, she calls you up, makes copies of your drivers' license and insurance card, makes sure you have a ride/escort with you, and asks you some questions...i.e. "Do you have a living will?" "Do you give this family member permission to view your records?" etc.

Two middle-aged women were ahead of me, filling out there forms and signing things, and I overheard the receptionist asking both times what religion each woman practiced or considered herself apart of. The first woman said Catholic. And the receptionist finished the second woman's response with the same thing. Either the second woman was a returning patient and her information was already in the computer, or she was making a safe assumption. My dad and I suppressed snickers.

Then my name is called. I go up there, wearing a red martial arts shirt, holding my Naruto wallet with my license and insurance card, carrying with me my blatantly anime-loving bag. She answers a few questions for me, "Sex, female. Age, nineteen. Marital Status, single (;_;!)" ....and my heart starting pounding and I knew what she was gonna ask next.

"Religion?" Seemingly expecting the usual, I had to guess she heard 'Catholic, Christian, Jewish, etc.' for the most part. Or even 'agnostic/aetheist.'

I manage to make eye-contact despite my drowsy and hardly-cognizant state. "Druidism."

The pretty girl behind the desk looks at me, confused. Not offended (this *is* South Jersey), just...unexpecting.

"Pagan," I said. "It's pagan." She typed something unseen to me. I do hope she knew I wasn't kidding and didn't put down 'Catholic' instead. XD lol.

I asked her why such a questions was on file, and pretty much guessed why. She told me that if something happened, some people like having clergy or rabi's come in and gie them blessings, and it would be easy to summon them if they had our religious preferances on file. Makes sense. Wouldn't it be hilarious if something happened and while I was lying on my death bed awaiting my dying rites, they send in this sixteen-year-old goth girl wearing heavy eye make-up and pentagrams (you know...those girls who think that Wicca is all the rage and tell people they are witches and shit and don't know anything about the actual religion/rituals) and says "Merry Meeting. Whomever it is we are supposed to worship blesses you and promises your life to follow will be nice. Huh? My patron goddess? Am I suppose to have one? Atlantis? What....? No, no I am a witch, I swear! My eyes turn red when my mom yells at me for not taking out the trash and spending too much money at Hot Topic..."

-_-;;;;

I will admit, however...I had the urge to say 'Satanism' to break the cycle of same religions more harshly, but it was fucking 6am and I was exhausted and this lady was nice and pretty, and I didn't want to seem like some middleschool wannabe nonconformist whose trying to rebel from their moral upbringing and parent's religious endeavors. Plus...what if she actually believed me...? T_T Not that I have a problem with the actual religion...just not me, yanno?

Anyway...after that is was pretty smooth-sailing. Go into little room with nurse, answer more questions, chuckle at surpirsed looks when admitting that you don't drink or smoke (she knew I was in college), and pretty much strip down into robe, get IV (I know now that the only place it works is on my hands), and walk into the OR, plop on the bed thingie and fall the fuck asleep. I'm usually calm enough to be light-hearted, so it's as pleasant an experience as possible.

Two funny things though:

1. My urine test said that I was pregnant (LOL) and I told her right then and there that I didn't sleep with men...XD The only reason it came out positive was because I haven't had my period in a while, and she tried it again and it came out negative. (Lesbians rule).

2. Some crazy, half-conscious patient-man said that my clothes and nerdbag were his *o_O* while I was sitting back in the little room with them ready to get changed! LOL A black nurse was like "Yo sir, that don't make no sense! *laughter* These ar' hers!" ....lol

Anyway. All is well! The doc showed me some pictures of my colon when I woke up and pretty much nothing had changed. The only thing that could be seen was that the lower part of my colon (where I had previous operations) was inflamed, probably because of the scar tissue and irritated mucus glands. Everything above that was perfectly normal. He said we'd discuss whether or not we wanna fix this problem, and that other than that, there was no cancer, pollops, abnormalities and that I was healthy and free to go. All's well that ends well!

Now I am home, waiting for Beck to get here and thinking about calling Annie for some sushi. Sorry for this novella! T'is a habit, I suppose. I need to disipline these cats. Maho just tore a claw through an immensely sexy Shuffle! poster...naughty naughty naughty.

Love to all!

PS: I am never leaving Beck along here again! One, because I miss her too much, and two, she made a giant fucking mess -_-;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

I hate colonoscopies....

Thu, 05 Jan 2006 07:49:02 GMT

If I wasn't at such a high risk for various colon diseases (besides the rare-ass one I already have), I would never fucking agree to do this. I guess it's not to bad, since this will be my 6th or 7th colonoscopy....but starving yourself for 30 hours and consuming 30-50 one-inch-long pills is hardly worth and hour of being put under and having someone stick a scope up your ass and take pictures and examine for ten minutes. Last time, I had to starve myself for three and 1/2 fucking days.I don't know why it's so bad right now. I just feel...awful. Worse than I usually do. There is no color in my cheeks. I haven't slept in over 30 hours and I began my fasting about five hours too early, and took the pills about two hours too late. I am so tired and empty. I'm sluggish and weak. And on top of that, I am sleeping at my parent's house because my procedure is at 7am and I have to be there by 6am. And Beck has to work tomorrow. What does that mean? I am spending a miserable, cold, and hungry night alone, while Beck is back at the apartment. You never realize how much your peaceful sleeping depends on consistancy. I wish I could see her.

I am never usually nervous about things like this. But I am right now. I'm feeling a different sort of sick....unlike the one I've experienced before. Maybe these are new pills...

I wish Rebecca was with me.

Fri, 30 Dec 2005 03:55:40 GMT

During the school year, I am always so stressed out, worrying about school, composing like ten songs a week, being boggled down with eight or more classes, not being able to spend time with Rebecca, etc. And then there is that one to two day period after finals where all is better. You know you did well on your finals, got all your shit in, get your grades back and you kept your scholarship...nothing could be better...

And then a week later you are sitting on your ass in front of the computer, PS2, DVD player, etc...playing games that you've beaten hundreds of times, downloading emulators that don't have sound (much to your dismay), watching the same 10 episodes of Queer as Folk over and over again because you are too lazy to go down the street and return them and rent the next ten, and you feel completely lazy, fat and useless T_T lol.

So it all kind of evens out. I always end up fucking up my sleeping schedule, which I hate because I like going to sleep with Rebecca and she needs to go to bed before 2 in order to wake up for work. Maybe I should get a job...or start on my costumes. Or finish songs. Stuff like that T_T

Christmas was pretty nice. We made plans to go to Beck's parents house around 10 and then meet back at my grandmothers' house around 5, but my daddy called and really wanted us to have breakfast with them. So we wake up at like 7, rush over there, are ready to rush off to Beck's parent's house and we find out that my cousin Michelle, who was nine months pregnant with twin boys, lost both of them. My entire extended family was freaking out, and here I was, secretly disappointed that I wouldn't be able to present my grandmother with the song I wrote for her in front of them. It's sad, yes. But you know? Not a single one of them would come rushing to my side to comfort me and Rebecca if I had a baby die...plus, I am hardly close with them, so why let my X-mas be ruined? However, I did gain a newfound respect for my Aunt Jeanne (the one who never learned to read and write and still lives with my grandmother). She asks, after a slight fit of crying, "What do you think of Jackie's boyfriend?" And of course, after Rebecca and I expressed our contempt, she continued to tell us that she and my grandmother thought he was a pig and a sleeze and that my parents shouldn't have ever taken him in or let him get away with anything. I was like "OMG I love you." Finally, Tom isn't idolized! He's a piece of shit.

I did get to give the song to my grandmother and she loved it muchly. XD I put so much effort into it, so I am glad!

Other than that, everything went well. We got lots of nerdy-ass presents which Rebecca so ardently stacked under the tree. Seido has not left the X-mas tree alone and he eats all of Maho's food T_T

I am sorry that I never have anything interesting to say! lol Same old, same old. Read Beck's journal for any slightly juicy tidbits. All I can say is that I am very excited for Katsucon XD

I have to pee, yo. Like seriously.

Merry X-mas, bitches

Sun, 25 Dec 2005 03:11:06 GMT

XD I miss Kate and Ant and Rob like whoa XD We had tons of fun. I think I am falling ill from all the laughing and staying up way too late and ignoring my healthy eating habits for a week T_T We will be seeing Rob in 10 days or so, and Ant lives about twenty blocks away...so it's not like I won't see him. Plus, Kate is going to visit him soon and she might be up here again. I am so happy!

Christmas snuck up on me and I'm so not ready for it. I hardly had any money with which to buy presents, which upsets me since I wish I could buy my friends presents all the time XD I wanna clean up and make everything look nice so I can have peace of mind tonight <- Is a loser neatfreak.

I picked up a lot of extremely nerdy phrases this week. I think I've ascended to another level or dorkdom.

BTW I got a 3.4 GPA this semester! YAY! Kept my scholarship! I feel so relieved! I finished my song for my grandmother and I am gonna present it to her in front of all of my worthless relatives tomorrow at her house. I had to leave Rob here for like ten hours while I rushed my ass over to school to use the composition lab in order to finish it. I hardly even remember doing it. Maybe I can find some way to post it...?

I was up for 36 hours straight T_T_T I need to go the fuck to sleep.

I love you all and please have a Merry Christmas!! I can't wait to spend all my Christmas money on the new GC Naruto game and plenty of cosplay! XDXD

1. When you look at yourself in the mirror in the morning, what's the first thing you think? "Kate, your eyes are so bloodshot, you look like a heroin addict.

2. How much cash do you have on you? About fifteen cents.

3. What's a word that rhymes with "TEST"? Rest. Yeah, Rob. Take a fuckin nap.

4. Favorite planet? Uranus. And I'm not being funny either XD

5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone? My dad.

6. What is your favorite ring on your phone? A remix of the first movement of Carmina Burana!! XDXD

7. What shirt are you wearing? My red 'Karate Kid' shirt. I HAD to get it.

8. Do you "label" yourself? 'with a pricing gun' OMG Rob is my hero! Yeah, I'm a fucking nerd, dude.

9. Name the brand of your shoes you're currently wearing? Um...some fucking jewy cheaps ones Pay Less. Champion, I believe.

10. Bright or Dark Room? Dark. I am vampire. Light hurts me.

11. What do think of the person who took this before you? Rob is like my god. I heart him hardcore.

13. What were you doing at midnight last night? Watching Rob try to beat the last Wiz Pig race on Diddy Kong Racing, much to my hilarity. That kid has some perserverance.

14. What did your last text message you received on your cell say? OMFG It's a pix text from Beck's sister, she sent me a pic of one of her Naruto pins and backed it up with a recording of Naruto Ondo *dies laughing*

15. Where is your nearest 7-11? About three blocks on 12th and Chestnut Street.

16. What's a saying that you say a lot? "Surprise, buttseks!"

17. Who told you they loved you last? Rebecca. She has an impulsive need to announce that about every sixteen seconds.

18. Last furry thing you petted? Sarah's kitty, Jacques-Pierre (seido) or Maho, my cat.

20. How many rolls of film do you need to get developed? I don't think I have any...hmm...good question.

21. Favorite age you have been so far? 19!

22. Your worst enemy? My total lack of a work ethic. And my naivety.

23. What is your current desktop picture? Some EdxRoy fanart Beck posted T_T lol

24. What was the last thing you said to someone? "Read it" to Rebecca reading a gaming mag about that Jack Thompson loser who can kiss my ass.

25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to change a major regret? A million bucks easily. If you never did anything wrong, then you would never learn anything. I want a millions dollars to buy my friends lots of presents and take them out to dinner and go to tons of cons and pay my parents back for all of their generous donations.

26. Do you masturbate frequently? Dude, I am going out with Rebecca. She's a fucking nymphomaniac. Do you really think I need to masturbate?

27. The last song you listened to? The one I just wrote for my grandmother.

PS: MERRY X-MAS TO ALL YOU NERDS! XDXDXD

Wed, 14 Dec 2005 01:50:01 GMT

Click here.
Take the quiz.
Post your results.
1) Is no_fishing an emo? No!
2) One thing you can't stand about darin56? Nothing, I've only known him for like...a month!
3) Which of your friends should furoraken go out with? Splash!
4) What is theblowup allergic to? I don't know what Val is allergic to ^^;
5) If hanjie took over the world, who would be happy? All fansubbers XD lol and Asians
6) What word best describes skirtsnbullets? Hot!
7) What mental disorder does splash remind you of? LOL OOC. Ivy is so hardcore.
8) Has chibik3r0 been to your house/dorm? Nope....only spoke in chatrooms.
9) Could you see nikolain and lousyitachi together? LMAO OMG HAWT. Not really, though.
10) Where was hanjie born? Asia!
11) What exotic animal would chibik3r0 like as a pet? A weasel.
12) Do you think no_fishing is hot? Kate is definitely attractive.
13) What would you do if you found out kiki_muffins has a crush on you? LOL Have her pose for me in her Temari outfit :X
14) Have you ever dated nikolain? No. We like opposite genders XD
15) splash's eye color? Brown. Ivy is Asian...^_^
16) When did you last call shmeebs? I have never called JJ. We are as of now only friends via internet and impending anime conventions.
17) Is nikolain a high school student? No.
18) Are skirtsnbullets and splash married? NO! lol
19) Does seshy22 do drugs? No.
20) What would you do if tiffins_osuwari died? I don't know! T_T
21) What is white_raven03's favorite band/artist? L'arc = band, artist = Maaya Sakamoto
22) If chronowarp and mibu_roshi were spliced together, what would it be like? A very musical Naruto cosplayer with long hair o_o lol
23) What planet should stardustshadow be from? The planet in between Gaara's legs.
24) What song/movie would you recommend to yukiryu? We want Sarah to get hardcore into Naruto and Bleach!
25) What is furoraken's favorite game? Something Final Fantasy?
26) How long have you known white_raven03? Three years.
27) What is white_raven03's favorite food? Peeps T_T my wife is gross....lol
28) Does tiffins_osuwari know seshy22? No.
29) What is lunaflie's shoe size? Probably a 5 or 6.
30) How many monkeys could lunaflie fight at once and win against? LOL A ton. She could set them all on fire.

Almost done with the semester!!! XDXD One more day and one more final! ^_^ I will be having my string quartet performed tomorrow at the composition workshop. I have a few tings to make up, a song to finish, and a few CD's to burn my World Music teacher. I also had my performance last night with Wolrd Music Ensemble and I think I did pretty well performing Open your Mind! Luckily Beck got it on tape. I couldn't've done it without her being there.

I'm gonna make some dinner. I need to start working on costumes for Katsucon!

o_O

Fri, 09 Dec 2005 17:52:49 GMT

LOL

Tue, 06 Dec 2005 12:44:54 GMT

Dear Santa...

Dear Santa,

This year I've been busy!

In February I ruled Iran as a kind and benevolent dictator (700 points). In January I pulled over and changed kiki_muffins's flat tire (15 points). Last Friday I gave stardustshadow a life-saving blood transfusion (50 points). Last Sunday I farted in an elevator (-6 points). Last Monday I caught a purse-snatcher who stole darin56's purse (30 points).

Overall, I've been nice (789 points). For Christmas I deserve a new dolly!

Sincerely,
creoa

LMAO...why Ant. I never knew XD

HELP ME MY SLEEPING SCHEDULE IS FUCKED UP AND I STILL NEED TO GO TO CLASSES!

Tue, 06 Dec 2005 07:54:51 GMT

Heeeeeeeey....

Beck and I totally need to stop staying up until the asscrack of dawn on school nights. It's not helping matters!

I talked to Evan (my heavenly advisor and chair of the comp depo.) about me being all stressed out about maintaining my scholarship and being well in his class and switching World Music Ensemble with Composers' Ensemble so that I may get credit for WME, and he was like "Sounds good. You're doing fine and you've come such a long way. I'm not just your advisor for school, you know. You can come to me anytime and I'll just close the door and we'll talk about whatever you want." I fucking heart him so much. How the fuck did I get so lucky? I am watching his dogs again in January. I heart them too XD

Anyway. I have all my papers in and just need to take a few little finals and do some make up for Jazz Ear Training. I am contemplating catching up with the Naruto fillers since I'm about ten episodes behind...but it's almost not worth it. Is anyone still watching those goofy fillers...? This HAS to be the longest stream of them in history T_T

Beck and I just bought Shinobu Kokoro *avid yaoi manga collector* and for anyone who has never read it, get this...the manga-ka's name is...Temari Matsumoto. If that isn't bad enough, her yaoi story is about ninja wearing hakama.

Anyone else see the Naruto/Bleach connection? Beautifully psycho Japanese fangirl artist changes name in honor of two favorite blond badass female characters from popular anime and completes smutty manga emulating characters and storyline of said favorites. Holy crap, she is my hero.

I am changing my name to Aeris Belldandy and making a manga about gay samurai struggling to find love as they journey across uncharted lands searching for crystals and materia and meeting goddesses and Cetra and fighting crazed science experiments who have disturbing maternal preoccupations.

It's decided. I'm doing it.

Thu, 01 Dec 2005 17:46:09 GMT

If I were paid for every one of these that I have filled out in my lifetime, I'd be giving Bill Gates a run for him...um...money.

01. Fallen for your best friend? That's kind of a werid question for me to answer. Beck IS my best friend. Before that...? Hmm...
02. Made out with JUST a friend? Sure. When I was single of course...
03. Been rejected? Haven't we all?
04. Been in true love? Yes.
05. Been in lust? Oh yeah....lol
06. Used someone? Never would I even consider it.
07. Been used? Oh yeah, back when I was in middle schoo, like hardcore. I was a depressed pushoever who didn't have any real friends and could never say no. It was a sad sight. I STILL have problems saying no and being assertive.
08. Cheated on someone? On old boyfriends? Yeah, I never liked the that much T_T The stories I have....ask Rebecca about this one though, she is the worst!
09. Been cheated on? Sort of. I had my first real boyfriend when I was a freshman in high school, and this kid would askk all the time if I cheated on him and I would insist that I didn't (even though I did with his cousin in the next room)and he went off and started going out with this tremendouly ugly girl from his high school. Like it was okay! What an asshole! lol Even so, I think that you are genuinely happy with someone you love, then cheating is pointless bullshit.
10. Been kissed? Duh ^^;;
11. Done something you regret? Sure, but I try not to dwell on it. Everything happens for a reason, if you ask me. We gotta move on and learn from our mistakes.

W h o w a s t h e l a s t p e r s o n . . .

12. You touched? Rebecca.
13. You talked to? Rebecca.
14. You hugged? Rebecca...lol
15. You text messaged? Rebecca.
16. You called? Uh...lol...Rebecca.
17. You yelled at? My father last night when I called with computer-not-burning-anime problems and he was getting impatient T_T
18. You laughed at? Rebecca.
19. You had a crush on? Rock Lee :X
20. Broke your heart? Hmm...he shall not be named. Long ago. Insignificant now.

D o Y o u ?

22. Color your hair? I'm all natural, baby. Who would dye this head of hair? *imitates an Herbal Essences commercial*
24. Piercings? None.
25. Have a boyfriend/girlfiend/both? Duh...Rebecca.
26. Floss daily? Not really...but I take pretty good care of my teeth. They are in good shape.
27. Own a webcam? Actually, no.
28. Ever get off the damn computer? I try.
29. Sprechen sie deutsche? No, I do not speak much German.
30. Habla espanol? A little. I took two years of Spanish.

G e n e r a l Q u e s t i o n s

40. Considered a life of crime? No way, man, I am the sweetest thing on earth ^_^_^_^_^
41. Considered being a hooker? Hahah yeah! But would never let me though...lol she'd do it before me.
42. Considered being a pimp? Pimps are disgusting.
43. Are you psycho? Charmingly so.
45. Schizophrenic? Who knows?
46. Obsessive? When anime and all sorts of good things are in your life, who wouldn't be obsessively?
47. Obsessive compulsive? Yeah. About tidiness and organization. I'm hardcore.
48. Panic? Rarely. When I get really lost driving, or when things go wrong during big, important events. I can get alittle stressed and freaky T_T
49. Anxiety? Not often, but I have REALLY bad nightmares about being like...seven or eight hours late for things. I definitely have a problem with rushing and being afraid of being late.
50. Depressed? Been there, done that. Fine now ^_^ Life is good.
51. Suicidal? I'm not. Suicide has such an awful stigma here. If we lived in Japan, for example....
52. Obsessed with Hate? I am the least hateful person I know.
54. Dream of doing those things instead of just seeing them? Sure. Anything to add another layer of reality. I think we all do this.

R a n d o m S t u f f . . .

55. If you could be anywhere, where would you be? At an anime convention with good company and awesome people/cosplayers!
56. What would you be doing? Cosplaying, laughing, you know...having fun ^_^
58. What are you listening to? Revising some of my recent compositions.
59. Can you do anything freakish with your body? I have really bad/interesting colon problems, but I don't think anyone wants to hear the gory details...
60. Chicken or fish? Chicke is fine...but fish...fish is in sushi...and I LOVE SUSHI. I AM sushi.
61. Do you have a favorite animal, no matter how lame it may be? Dogs, cats, sharks, dolphins (they are sexy beasts), and whales, which are so beautiful I can't even look at a picture of one withoput getting teary-eyed, and hm...I wish mythological creatures still existed. Can you even imagine how beautiful a pegasus or a unicorn would be in real life?

C u r r e n t l y :

62. Current Clothes: ...I'm in my pajamas. Star Wars t-shirt and gray sweat pants. With a Naruto headband (jk...that was a few minutes ago)
63. Current Mood: Just fine, thanks. A little anxious about school, excited to go to NJ today, annoyed at having to to go my Modernism class first T_T
64. Current Taste: Peanut-butter with bread residue.
65. Current Hair: Up with a messy bun with my 'bangs' pushed to my right side. Looking alright if you ask me.
66. Current Annoyance: Modernism is SO boring!
67. Current Smell: My cat just took a dump *sigh* Gross, Maho.
68. Current thing I ought to be doing: Composing. I should ALWAYS be composing.
69. Current Desktop Picture: A snowy FMA landscape with Ed lobbing a huge snowball at a smexily smirking Roy.
70. Current Favorite Group: Group? Japanese: Orange Range. American: Rennaisance.
71. Current Book:= White Oleander.
72. Current DVD In Player: FMA bootleg vol. 2.
73. Current Refreshment: Water, baby.
74. Current Worry: That I will do poorly in Jazz Ear Training and not maintain my scholarship. But I worry about that all the time.

F a v o r i t e s :
76. Food: Sushi (or pretty much any Asian cuisine)
77. Drink: V8...not V8 Splash...the original tomatoe/veggie juice. Helps prevent cancer by like 75%! I drink like a quart a day, no lie.
78. Color: White (yes, I know that is not a color) and anything pastel. And Rock Lee Green. Because I love him.
79. Shoes: Fuck shoes. I hate wearing shoes T_T
80. Candy: I don't like candy. Maybe *some* Japanese candy is alright...
81. Animal: Akamaru is really sexy in the time jump. Me and Beck are fighting over him.
82. Movie: American? Harry Potter, LOTR, Star Wars, Pirates of the Caribbean, Donnie Darko, American Beauty...I have a ton. Japanese:? Moonchild (porn), fucking Advent Children by far!, Princess Mononoke, Howl's Moving Castle, Spirited Away, and I have a nasty, gory soft spot for Akira, which is so beautifully fucked up it makes my world go 'round.
83. Dance: Dance Dance Revolution!
84. Vegetable: Celery.

F u t u r e :
85. What do you want to be when you get older? Well...I go to school for music...so um...hm.... I am thinking I want to get my doctrit in Ethnomusicalogy or something...so I could compose, but have a steady income teaching at a university or something. That way I'd be free to compose without worrying about feeding myself and Rebecca.
86: Married? Me and Rebecca forever.
87: Kids? We want to little girls, Reiannon and Morgana *gets all teary-eyed*
88: Living Where? Wherever we are safe and happy....and whatever is anime-convention-convenient ^_^_^;;

T h i s o r T h a t :
89: Gay or straight? Hard to say. I am living a lesbian lifestyle so I tell people I am a lesbian. It's easier that way and it's less likely that men will try to pursue you T_T
90: Boxers or Briefs? Boxer-briefs are to homosexual choice of underwear. Just watch Queer as Folk.
91: Reading or Writing? Fanfiction? Both! Mmmmmm....smut!
92: Basketball or Baseball? I despise sports.
93: Walking or Running? Running.
95: Left or Right? I don't know the difference...lol
96: TV Shows or Movies? Anime. I HATE cable TV and I am particular with movies.
97: Jim Morrison or Tomh Yorke? WTF?
98: Rap or Rock? Rock Lee? Um...J-pop/rock. I can't stand rap.
99: Day or Night? Night.
100. What people call you? Kate. You can call me Kate. Or whatever you want. I don't care.

Thu, 01 Dec 2005 03:24:03 GMT

Hey guys. Fill this out. Seriously. Pwease...?

Be careful what you say, though...my wife is watching and reading <-< lol. I will fill one out for whom ever has one, I promise!

And just to make things clear ahead of time...I do not smoke or drink. Nor have I ever. I am one of those stupid morons who gets all offended when people assume I do such things. T_T I am so pathetic. I am gonna eat some sushi.

My name:

Where did we meet:

Take a stab at my middle name:

How long have you known me:

When is the last time that we saw each other:

Do I smoke:

Do I drink:

Do I curse:

Do I believe in God:

When is my birthday:

What was your first impression of upon meeting me:

Color of my eyes:

Do I have any siblings:

What's one of my favorite things to do:

Am I funny:

Do you remember one of the first things I said to you:

What's my favorite type of music:

What is the best feature about me:

Am I shy or outgoing:

Am I a rebel or do I follow the rules:

Do I have any special talents:

Would you consider me a friend/good friend:

Would you call me preppy, average, sporty, punk, hippie, glam, nerdy, snobby, or something else (what):

Have you ever seen me cry:

Are my parents still together:

If I had broccoli stuck in my teeth would you tell me:

Have you ever hugged me:

Do you miss me...do you think i miss you:

What is my favorite food:

Have you ever had a crush on me:

If there was one good nickname for me, what would it be:

What's your favorite memory of me:

What is my worst habit:

If you and I were stranded on a desert island, what one thing would I bring:

Tue, 29 Nov 2005 04:57:45 GMT

I've seen some people filling this out and snagged it. Beck and I have made crazy lists of anime/manga that we've seen/owned...so this was kind of fun.

Check those you have seen. For TV and OVA series, you have to have watched at least one full episode. For one-shot stuff like films, you have to have watched the whole thing.
M= Manga
A= Anime

I. Action and Adventure
(A) .hack//SIGN
() Airmaster
(A) Battle Arena Toshinden
(A/M) Bleach
(A) Blood+
(A) Burst Angel
(A) City Hunter
(A/M) Cowboy Bebop
(A/M) Dragonball (any)
(A) Flame of Recca
(A/M) GetBackers
(A) Inu Yasha (
(A) Lupin III (any)
(A) Mai-HiME
(A/M) Naruto
(A/M) One Piece
(A) Tenjou Tenge
(A) TRIGUN
(A) Saiyuki
(A) Yu Yu Hakusho

Total Here: 19/20

II. Comedy and Parody
() 2x2 = Shinobuden
(A) Adventures of the Mini Goddesses
(A/M) All Purpose Cultural Catgirl Nuku Nuku
(A/M) Azumanga Daioh
() Bokusatsu Tenshi Dokuro-chan
(A/M) Di Gi Charat
(A) Dragon Half
(A/M) Excel Saga
(A/M) Fruits Basket
(A) Galaxy Angel
(A/M) Here is Greenwood
(A/M) Kodomo no Omocha
(A) Kyou Kara Maou!
(A/M) Midori Days
(A) Pani Poni Dash
(A) Project A-ko
(A/M) Ranma 1/2
(A) Tenchi
(A) Those Who Hunt Elves
(A) Urusei Yatsura

Total Here: 18/20

III. Drama and Miscellaneous
(M) Beck
(A/M) Full Moon wo Sagashite
(A) Gankutsuou
(A/M) Genshiken
() Glass Mask (original or new)
(A) Haibane Renmei
() Hitsuji no Uta
(A) Honey & Clover
(A) Kaleido Star
() Last
(A) Le Portraite de Petite Cossette
() Monster
(A/M) Paradise Kiss
(A) Princess Mononoke
(A) Read or Die OVA
(A) Speed Grapher
() Twin Spica
(A) Weiss Kreuz
(A) Wings of Honneamise
(A o_o) Yakitate!! Japan

Total Here 15/20

IV. Ecchi/Mature
(A) Agent AIKa
(A) Cutey Honey
() Ebichu
(A) Golden Boy
(A) Grenadier
(A) Hand Maid May
(A) He Is My Master
() Iketeru Futari
(A) La Blue Girl
() Lingerie Senshi Papillon Rose
(A/M) Mahoromatic
(A) Mezzo Forte
(A/M) Miyuki-chan in Wonderland
() My Dear Marie
() Najica Blitz Tactics
(A/M) Negima
(A) Puni Puni Poemy
() Urotsukidoji: Legend of the Overfiend
(A) Wicked City
(A) Yumeria

Total Here: 14/20

V. Fantasy and Supernatural
(A/M) Angel Sanctuary
() Aquarian Age
(A/M) Berserk
(A) El Hazard
(A) Final Fantasy Unlimited
(A/M) Fullmetal Alchemist
(A) Howl's Moving Castle
(A) Magic Knight Rayearth
() Mushishi
(A) Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind
(A) Record of Loddoss War
(A/M) Scrapped Princess
(A) Slayers
() Tales of Eternia
(A) Trinity Blood
(A/M) Tsubasa Chronicle
(A) Vampire Hunter D
(A) Violinist of Hameln
(A) Vision of Escaflowne
(A) X: TV

Total Here: 17/20

VI. Historical and Alternate History
() Anne of Green Gables
() Basilisk
() Barefoot Gen
(A) Chrono Crusade
(A) Grave of the Fireflies
() Fire Tripper
() Kaidomaru
() Legend of Condor Hero
() Millennium Actress
(A) Nadia - Secret of Blue Water
(A) Ninja Scroll
() Otogizoushi
(A) Peacemaker Kurogane
(A) Porco Rosso
(A) Rose of Versailles
(A/M) Rurouni Kenshin
() Samurai 7
(A) Samurai Champloo
(A) Steel Angel Kurumi
() Victorian Romance Emma

Total Here: 10/20

VII. Kids and Family
(A/M) Angelic Layer
(A) Astro Boy
(A) Beyblade
(A) Castle in the Sky
(A) Detective Conan
(A/M) Digimon
() Doraemon
(A) Hamtaro
(A) Kiki's Delivery Service
(A) Kimba the White Lion
(A) Monster Rancher
(A) My Neighbour Totoro
(A) Pokemon
(A) Samurai Pizza Cats
() Sazae-san
(A) SD Gundam Force
(A) Sonic X
(A) Speed Racer
(A) Spirited Away
(A) Yu-Gi-Oh

Total Here: 18/20

VIII. Magical Girls and Boys
(A/M) Cardcaptor Sakura
(A/M) DNAngel
(A) Earth Girl Arjuna
(A) Erementar Gerad
() Hime-chan no Ribbon
() Kamikaze Kaitou Jeanne
(A) Magic Users Club
(A) Magical Girl Pretty Sammy
(A) Magical Stage Fancy La La
() Mahou no Star Magical Emi
(A) Mahou Shoujo Lyrical Nanoha
() Mythical Detective Loki Ragnarok
() Ojamajou DoReMi
() Oku-sama wa Mahou Shoujo
(A/M) Pretear
(A/M) Sailor Moon
() Saint Tail
(A) Tokyo Mew Mew
(A) Ultra Maniac
(A) Wedding Peach

Total Here: 13/20

IX. Romance
(A/M) Ah! My Goddess
(A) Ai Yori Aoshi
(A) Air
(A) Ayashi no Ceres
(A) Boys Be
(A/M) Chobits
(A/M) Fushigi Yuugi
(A) Hana Yori Dango
(A/M) His and Her Circumstances
(A) Kimagure Orange Road
() Kimi ga Nozomu Eien
(A/M) Love Hina
(A) Maison Ikkoku
(A) Marmalade Boy
(M) Peach Girl
(A) Piano
(A) Please Teacher!
(A/M) SaiKano
(A/M) To Heart
(A) Video Girl Ai

Total Here: 19/20

X. Science-Fiction
(A) Appleseed
(A) Blue Seed
(A) Bubblegum Crisis (any)
(A) Crest of the Stars
(A) Galaxy Express 999
(A) Gundam (any) [Wing, G, 08th MS, and Seed]
(A) Macross (any)
(A) Outlaw Star
(A) Patlabor
() Planetes
() Please Save My Earth
(A) RahXephon
(A) Saber Marionette (any)
(A) s-CRY-ed
(A) Soukyuu no Fafner
() Space Battleship Yamamoto (a.k.a.: Star Blazers)
(A) Stellvia
(A) Transformers (any)
(A) Voices of a Distant Star
(A) Xenosaga: The Animation

Total Here: 17/20

XI. Shounen-Ai and Shoujo-Ai
(I want!) Ai no Kusabi
(A) Descendants of Darkness/Yami no Matsuei
(A/M) Earthian
(A/M) FAKE
() Fish in the Trap
() Galaxy Fraulin Yuna
(A/M) Gravitation
(A) Haru wo Daiteita
() Kannazuki no Miko
(A/M) Kizuna
() Lesson XX
(A/M) Loveless
(A) Maria-sama ga Miteru
(A) Mirage of Blaze
() Oniisama E
() Seikimatsu Darling
() Song of the Wind in the Trees
(A) Sukisho
(A) Yami to Boushi to Hon no Tabibito
() Zetsuai/Bronze

Total Here: 12/20

XII. Sports
() Ace wo Nerae
() Ashita no Joe
() Ayane's High Kick
() Baki the Grappler
(A) Battle Athletes
() Buzzer Beater
() Captain Tsubasa
() Eyeshield 21
() Ginban Kaleidoscope
() Hajime no Ippo
(A/M) Hikaru no Go
(A) Initial D
() Major
() Monkey Turn
() One Pound Gospel
(A) Prince of Tennis
(A) Princess Nine
(A) Slam Dunk
(A) Suzuka
() Wild Striker

Total Here: 8/20 I HATE sports anime o_o

XIII. Surreal and Psychological (by far my favorite genre!)
(A) Akira
(A) Betterman
(A) Boogiepop Phantom
(A) Elfen Lied
(A/M) FLCL
(A) Gantz
(A) Ghost in the Shell
(A) Hellsing
(A) Jigoku Shoujo
() Karas
(A) Madlax
(A) Melody of Oblivion
(A/M) Neon Genesis Evangelion
(A) Noir
(A) Paranoia Agent
(A) Perfect Blue
() Princess Tutu
(A/M) Revolutionary Girl Utena
(A) Serial Experiments Lain
(A) Texnolyze

My Total: 18/20

Grand total: 198/260

Not too bad ^^; I think that's like 75% or something *sucks balls at math*. I always had pretty good sources...I guess I entered the anime world pretty lucky. Beck and I have seen pretty much the exact same things... I wouldn't surprised if her list in exactly the same. We usually post updated lists of our anime watching and manga collecting so I don't miss any (which I always do, I am sure). This list might help o_O

College nerves >_>

Mon, 28 Nov 2005 21:01:51 GMT

I probably shouldn't write anything like what I am about to - I don't wanna jinx anything - but I really worry too much about school.

For anyone who doesn't know, I have ten classes this semester. I'm taking well over 18 credits and three classes for non-credit. That that I mind! I LOVE my major and I love being able to write music for homework and hopefully a living and whatnot... but I am always so worried that I am doing poorly.

I have a really shitty work ethic, I don't like to read for homework, I hate practicing (I'll practice on my own for hours...but if it's assigned...I can't bring myself to do it) and I'm completely last minute. So I'll be going along week, by week, fine, relatively relaxed, and then I'll have a huge test or a huge song or a huge paper due...and for the few days before the due date, I'll be a complete stressed-out mess. Seriously. I become grumpy and irritable and I want to jump out a window, never do an once of work again, pray for somehting horrible to happen to me so that I won't get in trouble or be blamed for doing things half-assed ....and I'll worry and worry and worry that I'll never do well or get it done and it's all over and I'll lose my scholarship...

...and somehow I always pull it together and end up with a 95 or something on my test, a compliment from my major teacher about my song (that I finished ten minutes before my lesson) or a decent grade on my paper that somehow managed to get there on time. And I have no idea how this happens. I need to learn to trust myself, and say "Kate...you always pull this shit together somehow, some way...so chill out and remember that!" But then sometimes I find some weird alternate route around handing in a homework assigment on time or end up doing some Jazz Ear Training assignments in the labs later int he week instead of the class...and then I start procrastinating hardcore and start worrying again! I mean...it's nice I suppose to not have to put 100% effort into reading a book or practicing (I always put 100% into my actual composing in case you were curious), and still get by with A's and B's. But it's almost not worth putting it all off until the last minute when I get to ridiculously stressed out and angry with myself. And I worry! For hours! "Oh, shit, I missed that class today, I am gonna lose my scholarship!" And my school is pretty hardcore about not letting you miss classes. 2 or 3 absences tops or your grade drops. I love school, I love my classes, and there is no where better to go for music composition...but it's all my fault that I get so stressed out. I'm so afraid that I'll get kicked out and stupid crap like that....

I need to give myself some more credit.

I just figured out Life from BLEACH on the piano and I am totally jamming. I love that song. The bass line for the chorus is AWESOME. I arranged Houki Boshi and Life is Like a Boat for piano awhile ago, and I feel guilty for continually betraying old Bleach songs for the progressively awesome new ones that come out. I think me and Beck totally got Rob into Happy People. It's the best when blasted in a car with a backseat full of Bleach-goons. Then you get that horribly unmelodious chorus of "HAPPY PEOPLE'S IN THE HOUSE!!!" in which case 70% of the people are most likely tone deaf and it just makes it all the more fun.

I have a ten-twenty page paper due in World Music tomorrow at 10. Did I start it yet? No. Will I start it before dark? Nope. However...here is the fun part...I get to fucking write it on Japanese pop music. OH DEAR GOD HOW HORRIBLE! I THINK I MIGHT DIE AT THE SHEER HORRIDNESS AT HAVING TO WRITE AN ENTIRE PAPER ON ONE OF MY FAVORITE THINGS ON EARTH! See why I can't complain? I'l lget struck by lightening or something and the Goddess will be like "BITCH. Enjoy your nerdy-ass libral-as-all-fucking-hell-that-people-had-to-skip-school-when-Bush-won-because-they-were-so-depressed artistically and musically advanced, prestigious, cultural and perfect-for-you-school and stop thinking that you have it hard! At least you get to do what you love!" Yeah, yeah...I'm gonna shut up now...

But hell yeah...J-pop paper! I think I shall compare it to the horrors of American pop, and seriously...as someone who has arranged and figured out and even performed like 200 Japanese songs...I think I should do alright 0_0

I decked my Naruto messenger bag out hardcore in Naruto patches and keychains and all the weird Naruto shit I have. It looks SO FUCKING NARUTARDED. I love it like I love Yaoi.

Speaking of Yaoi...I am working on some Neji/Lee fics. I LOVE that couple. Lee is my ultimate love *dreamy sigh*

I should take a nap before my long-ass paper. I was up until 4 working on my paper for Modernism that Beck helped me do and managed to get done in enough time to print it out and book it over to class. So I am tired and probably not making sense.

Don't worry...no one will blame you if you don't read this. T_T_T I'm gonna play some Katamari.

Anime USA + Harry Potter GoF= Ultimate Nerd-Porn Overload

Tue, 22 Nov 2005 06:54:43 GMT

OMG...am I actually updating my journal more than once a year?

A miracle.

AnimeUSA was fucking amazing. I definitely find that I enjoy smaller cons the most. Less stress, less people, more compact...definitely more my style, and like everyone seems to say, you don't feel like you're missing everything because there is so much to do. I never feel badly about spending a few extra minutes in my hotel room at smaller cons, and I like going right downstairs or outside and the con being no less than a few yards away.

Sarah, Rebecca and I saw Harry Potter Thursday night at midnight, which was practically a convention in and of itself, prouding wearing our HP scarves (Beck's a Gryffindor...and well...we all know I am a Hufflepuff) that Susan made us (she is sublime) and after the fucking outstanding movie, Beck and I were off to VA...at three in the morning.

We were tired as hell when we arrived at the Sheraton, but it was nice to be out of the car and in a nice room with a bed. It was so great seeing Rob, and we fucking LOVE Kate. She is the greatest thing ever. I can't believe I had so much fun hanging out with Rob and Kate. Usually I'm all partial to my MI friends and won't have it any other way, but I seriously thought I was gonna cry when I had to leave Rob and Kate. LOL Not that it's hard to make me cry ^_~ but I was just so warm and happy with them in such a short period of time. I really fucking hope they come to Phill in December. It would be heaven to have them here for a few days. I want Kate to meet Sarah, too. Katsucon, perhaps...?

We reused costumes for AUSA since we had it on such short notice that we were going. Tsunade and Tayuya (I HATE the bow on the Sound Ninja!). I'll let Beck go into more con details since she is forbidding me to write about them first (whilst she munches a Wendy's fry and reads Harry Potter).

I bought some awesome shit (I am SO into the Naruto merchandise) including more Naruto pillows, keychains, a Naruto umbrella, a Lee sticker, another Naruto shirt, a Naruto washcloth....er...a random Katamari T-shirt that I am proud to possess... I just reek with nerdiness. And love. ^_^ Because nerdiness is love. And I am fucking exhausted and missed my Jazz Ear Training class this morning. Not good. I hope I am doing well in school...I'm one of those assholes who worry about it endlessly and am SO relieved when I manage miraculously to do well at the end of the semester. I almost wish I didn't have a scholarship to maintain. Then I wouldn't have the added pressure...

Good to update my journal with some lighter news. I should be off to bed...I have a World Music test tomorrow o_o Much love ^_^

sigh

Sun, 13 Nov 2005 18:51:55 GMT

On a lighter note, my mother just called with her apologies about her family. "No," she says, "I never speak badly about you to them. I only tell them how proud of you I am and how I'd be nothing without you." This was nice to hear, and I hope it's true. I know she tells everybody how talented I am anbd how much she loves me...but I DID say she was manic...she used to call them and complain. The only reason she called John over to help clean the house was because he needed some extra cash and I wasn't home. I'm glad his family misconstrued that. Nice job. But I appreciate her calling. There has always been a problem with them...so it's kind of hard to blame the problem on a specific thing. They are jealous, homophobic, unsure, etc. Whatever. I'm not gonna show my face in front of them anymore. They don't deserve to be around Rebecca or me. Fuck 'em.

Anyway. We are indeed going to AnimeUSA and I am so excited! I really thought we weren't gonna be able to go. I really hope Katsucon and Otakon works out too. I bought We Love Katamari last night and am completely obsessed with it. I have a pretty bad cold right now, and in my restless dreams I was rolling balls of junk. Nice T_T I wonder how so many Americans love these games despite all the hardcore Japanese cultural references? No normal American will get that 'Ichigo' means 'strawberry' or wholly appreciate the goofy music and silly humor. Whatever. I'm glad Americans love it, anyway.

I hope I get better soon. This is like the third cold I've aquired in like three months. I need to sing for World Music Ensemble on Wednesday...BTW we ARE doing Open Your Mind! And it sounds fucking awesome. i wish everyone could come see me singing in Japanese with the back-up vocalists and such ^^;;

Hope everyone is well. My love to everyone reading this.

Families fucking suck

Sun, 13 Nov 2005 15:09:05 GMT

I hate so start out on such a negative note since I hardly ever post and such an occasion should be saved for good news and excited banter...but I gotta let everyone know who might be reading this...

Families really do suck.

I HATE when people spout that 'Family First' bullshit. Your family doesn't come first if it's a piece of shit. And I'm not talking just my mom and dad and sister, here...I'm talking relatives and extended family and everything. I would love to burn every movie and every sitcom about how important family is. Me and Beck had horrendously shitty family lives and we came out better than most. We don't need them. When I moved out, I didn't look back once. Never did I miss them or wish I was living in their house. Never when I lived hundreds of miles from my extended family did I miss them or talk to them.

Lemme tell you why.

First off, anyone reading this probably knows by now how fucked up my sister is. She's been in therapy since she was in third grade and is heavily medicated because of her bipolar manic depression and various chemical imbalances and mood disorders. I hated when people would tell me how much they hated their brother or sister and how much they fought, because frankly, they didn't have the slightest idea what not getting along with your sibling meant. She is my exact opposite. Messy as all fucking hell, disrespectful, rude, ignorant, selfishi beyond all belief, a complusive liar and a thief. She would scream and scream and scream until she got her way and eventually all we could do was give into her because she was so relentless and exhausting. My mother has had to call the police on more than one occasion to calm her down and break up our fights. They should have hospitalized her or thrown her in a juvenile hall. She's done enough to be elligable.

When I was eighth grade at probably at the peak of my depression, my mom started acting like a psycho and SHE was then diagnosed with bipolar manic depression. Do you know what it's like to have TWO people in your immediate family with manic depression? Hell. It's hell. I'm always telling people that if there is a hell, I'm not afraid to go there. Why? Because I have been there. My dad and I used to tlak about running away and never coming back. My mom used to call her sisters and tell them what horrible and wrenched children my sister and me were. How we ruined her life. She and my sister would threaten to kill themselves every single day for a year. Along with that, I had no friends and nowhere to find solace. There was never a time where I was sadder.

Luckily, within the year, my mother was given some medication to stabalize her depression and was fine after that. My sister, however, never got any better. My parent's seem to think that her medication helps as well, but I know it doesn't. She is just as messy and disrespectful as ever. I get along with her better now that I don't live there...but it was completely awful at the time.

Not only that...because my sister was such a deplorable slob and my parents were too drained to clean up after her, I was pretty much left with all the chores. Jackie's only job was to take out the trash once a week, and hardly ever did that. She should have been keeping her room clean, but you'd probably have to bribe her with millions. Not only was my room seamlessly tidy at all times, but my standards spilled over into the rest of the house as well. As a result, I spent most of my free time cleaning, organizing and tidying up. Whenever people came over, I was the one who straightened up. I did the clothes, the dishes, the vacuuming and any kind of tidying up you can think of. The floors where always clear, the countertops and tables neat, nothing stuffed under beds or couches or shoved in a drawer. Everything literally perfect.

And I did this for about ten years.

On the occasion I was tired and through with cleaning all the time, I was accused of being lazy. It was like no one noticed. Like every girl from the age of eight is supposed to the family maid and clean up after everyone. Whenever I left for more than an hour, the house was messy again. Oh, and did I mention? I'm talking five bedroom, three-car-garage, multiple-fireplace, four-thousand square foot houses here. Not a small studio apartment like where I live currently. And blessedly.

Everything got a tad better when we moved to NJ. My mom was happier and we lived MUCH closer to my extended family. We all weren't too close with my dad's side of the family, but definitely with my moms'. Wherever we were living, we made the long trip up to my grandmother's house on Christmas and someitmes during the summer. I love my grandmother. She is sweet and strong and a old-lady role-model. But the rest of the family...

My mother has three sisters. Two of which are married, one with two kids who are in their early thirties now, and one with a son my sister's age. And the other sister never made it to third grade and lives with my grandmother. And let me tell you. These guys never treated me any better.

This time it was both of us, though. My sister and I got shit on all the time. Nobody ever sat down and talked to us, we always got shitty, cheap presents, while my cousin John (the one my sisters' age) got lots of really nice stuff. No one ever called and hardly ever visited. My two older cousins were supposedly jealous that my family was wealthy and we stopped talking much when I was about twelve. Not to mention how my mother always rubbed my talents in everyones' faces.

BTW...yes, my parents love me and yes they are proud of me. But they were not 'parents'. They buy me everything I want and need but were never there for me when I was sobbing uncontrollably or was in so much pain I couldn't move. I needed a parent, not a bank. I am close with my father, and he helped a lot, but my sister drained him...and my mother, and I was completely starved for attention, since all of theirs' was directed at my sister and her various destructive antics. My mother eventually stopped giving me good advice and has become this saddened and superficial drone who only cares about how much money I spend or how I am doing in school. Would it hurt for her to ask if I had fun at the mall or bought some great stuff at an anime convention? Doesn't she care?

Anyway. Back to my asshole extended family. I know now that I don't have anything in common with any of them. And Beck knows exactly what I mean. When my mom and aunts would urge me to be social...I had nothing about which to talk. I'm not Christian, I hate sports, I hate the news, I hate the fucking president (all my aunts voted for that scumbag Bush), and I have a heightened interest in homosexuality, anime and video games. So what am I supposed the talk about?

"Hey, there, Aunt Jerolyn! Did you read the newest chapter of that great Harry Potter fanfiction? It's a DracoxHarry coupling: my favorite! I especially enjoy the part where Malfoy sticks his hands down Harry's pants...."

Uh...

"Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children is out! Did anyone download it yet!...?"

No.

"Um...you guys like Katamari?"

Not happening.

And that's fine. You can't always have something in common with your conservative, gossipy family. But do they have to exclude me? I mean, I don't want to have to dumb myself down and engage in petty banter with my not-so-smart relatives...but could anyone of them show that they care about me?

My mother used to always have to complain that my sister and I weren't happy being around them and they always hurt us in someway. One time my aunt Karen bought my sister a cheap glitter kit for Christmas that still had the price tag on it. $1.50. For Christmas. And my parents spend SO MUCH on her two fucking moron kids (her son, who is about thirty now, still lives with her, and Michelle, her eldest, is married to this air-conditioning repair man who does illegal under-the-table work to escape taxes, and she babysits. Yes. Babysits for a living.) My sister, probably about ten or eleven, went up to my mother and said "Wow, mom. Aunt Karen must really hate me." Can you fucking believe that? What would you do if you heard your youngest child say that about your sister? It breaks my heart even now.

So when my mother wasn't proudly gloating my talents and using me as usual to boost her self-esteem in thinking that at least one daughter came out alright so her parenting skills can't be THAT bad...she was calling Aunt Jerolyn, stressed out over Jackie, to complain about the BOTH OF US. So everyone in the fmaily would think that I assisted somehow in my mothers' pain and that I was just as lazy and good-for-nothing as my sister. Except I was a very artistic and musical good-for-nothing. One time, I was SO tired of cleaning up, I lounging about one day and my mother had John over to help her clean. I guess he needed a few extra bucks and my mom said she'd pay him. Great. What a perfect image to give to a family who already thinks that I'm the laziest fuck on earth. I WAS FUCKING TIRED OF CLEANING UP AFTER EVERYONE!!! When I went to MI for a few weeks a few years ago, my mother had to hire FIVE CLEANING LADIES in my adsence. Yeah right, mom. You don't need me at all. And the house is so gross without my being there. It smells, the trash is never taken out, the fridge has all sorts of spoiled food in it, the bedrooms are all messy, and there is simply Jackie residue everywhere. Not to mention hundreds of articles of clothing desperately needing to be washed.

I went over to my grandma's house last night with Beck and the rest of my family to wish my grandmother a happy birthday, since she is sweet and old and just turned 83, and was comfortable until my aunts and uncles and cousins started coming over. My cousin Danny has a new girlfriend now, a cute Asian, Rowen-graduate named Annie. Who was completely rude to me. Nobody talks to Rebecca or introduces her to others like she' part of the family (we have an agreement that we don't introduce peeople to each other who don't matter). And everyone acts like she and I don't have the beautiful relationship that we do. i thought everyone was mature enough to be able to deal with a gay relative. Out of 14 people who are usually gathered at my grandma's house for various occasions...at least one of them had to be gay.

Not to mention last night, my Aunt Jerolyn, with whom I recently get along, but she can be moody, sat right across from me and bragged to Annie and Dan and Aunt Karen about how great John was doing at Gettysberg and all the stupid shit he was studying and all that jazz. How he doesn't like drinkers and partiers and everything. Bitch. I don't like them either. John and his ugly fucking girlfriend have only one interest, and it's war. The civil war mostly, and spend their time reinacting various battles in some stupid group. And everyone loves Sarah. She's quiet and rude and ugly, and hey boisterous parents talk only of their dogs and how they breed them, and John's only skill is that he works his ass off in school and does well. Anyone can do that, John. I'm sorry that you can't do anything else. I'm sorry, Aunt Jerolyn, that your son is not as talented and attractive and interesting as me. Don't take it out on me or my family because they are proud of me.

I don't deserve that. It's the only thing they have to offer me that is remotely parental.

I get along just fine with John, but Beck thinks he and his girlfriend are arrogant assholes and think their relationship is so much better than ours and that they think they are so funny and clever. She's probably right. Beck goes through the same thing with her family, having shitty stigmas attached to her and whatnot. She understands.

So fuck them. I'm just not going to show my face at anymore pointless and superficial gatherings. They can think whatever they want...that I am too lazy or too stuck-up or too gay to spend time with them. They are right. It's not worth it. I won't be fooled. Family isn't everything. Family isn't always right. The term 'family' is as flawed as any other group of people. Shallow, and petty, and sophomoric and completely and utterly fucked up as anything.

So allow me to end this fucking novella with a statement of truth.

Don't let anyone tell you that family comes first.

It's fucking bullshit.

Mon, 26 Sep 2005 16:10:16 GMT

1. Reply with your name and I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll tell you what song/film reminds me of you.
3. I'll pick a flavor of jelly to wrestle with you in.
4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
5. I'll tell you my first memory of you.
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
8. If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal.

Pluuuwww...^_^ I have ten classes this semester T_T but mostly fun stuff. We might be doing Open Your Mind for World Music Ensemble!! Which means I will have to notate it and transcribe it to fit all of our instruments and various voice parts (in harmony) but luckily I'll be the lead vocals ^^; Let's keep our fingers crossed!

All I watch now is Advent Childrne. I fucking love Advent Children. FFVII is Life ^_^

Attention MI people

Sat, 27 Aug 2005 19:24:09 GMT

Hey guys. Paul, Ivy, and even Leanne. This is for you.

Listen. I've got some explaining to do.

I talked to Paul about the outrageous prices of the hotels for next year (that are bound to go down if I call later in the fall), and he mentioned that you guys might just get a room and meet us there because it's so hard to organize with different travel plans and you don't want to put me and Beck through anything.

Guys. I am so sorry that you thought everything was a big inconvenience for me. That completely wasn't the case. If you didn't notice...everything was fine until Luke and his friends came into it. Basically, if you didn't know, unbeknownst to me, they came to the con because they thought for some reason that I was gonna spend all my time with them. Not only that, they gave me crap about the hotel not being ready on Friday, and also perhaps unintentionally guilted me for not being able to spend time with them. It was driving me crazy being responsible for so many people...when the only people I wanted to spend time with was you guys. As you know, I am very prone to guilt, and not only that, I get extremely stressed over big events such as Otakon, and drive myself crazy trying to make everyone happy.

You are always welcome here. Beck and I spend most of our time thinking about you guys and laughing about times past and she gets endless laughter over my tales of old stories involving past get-togethers. I am so, so sorry if I was rude or mean or gave you the impression that everything was a big inconvenience. Things didn't work out perfectly and it made me sick to my stomach. All I want is for you guys to have fun and be happy. I know we had a bit of a falling out on Friday when I let the guys stay in the room since their fucking room wasn't ready, and Paul and I exchanged words we shouldn't've. I apologize. You guys are the most important things in my life...and I am so sorry I let stupid things like stress and guilt from acquaintences get in the way. You know what a people pleaser I am. If everyone isn't happy, I am suffering.

I sincerely hope you decide to come up here again. Or at least share a room with us. We wouldn't be able to afford a room with just the two of us. Not a chance. We wouldn't be able to go. And all the fun of going is being able to see you guys. I hope you can forgive me for being such a petty bitch. I really do feel badly about it and am still in the process of de-stressing.

For next year, I am only reserving one room. For us. And in not reserving extra rooms, Beck thought that would help me not be responsible for ten thousand people. I'll let Luke and his friends, and Sarah and Rob and everyone know the rates and such and give them the number for they can call themselves and make reservations. As long as it's just us in one room, I can't be tempted to help anyone, because that seems to be what drives me crazy and stresses me out to the point of tears.

Guys... we really want you to come up and stay with us again for at least a couple of days before (or after) Otakon next year. It wouldn't be worth it for us to go if you didn't. We love you!

I hope you can forgive me. You have all my love. My thoughts dwell on you always.

-Kate Gaunt